The many adventures of Alex and Thranduil
by Elleth of Hidden Lore
Summary: When you are a bored young woman that was sent to Middle earth without her consent and had to go through the pains of the lack of toilet paper, no showers, wars, stupid men and over all hell for a girl used to an easy life, life can be a pain for her and everyone around. But when she finds an unlikely friendship in King Thranduil, Middle earth is up for a big surprise. DISCO PARTY!
1. And the party beings

**Hi! So this is the sequel for "Reasons why not to join the Fellowship of the Ring". You don't need to read that story to understand this one. A short summary that will be provided below will be enough, although, you can read it if you want since in reality it's very short since the chapters are extremely short.**

**Warning: Spoiler alert. Reason's why summary.**

**Alex is a young woman from our time who is thrown into Middle earth after her death. Major parody and humor with a bit OC-ness on occasions. She will list the many reasons why she hates having been forced to join the Fellowship. She is a bratty, loud mouth, sometimes selfish, person who will have many humorous clashes with the members of the Fellowship. Her relationship with Legolas was one of the worst things ever, basically because she's a brat most of the time haha. But not all is bad and there will be just funny times where things can be cute and funny or just plain pitiful for her. In the end, she dies, but since God didn't want her in Heaven, despite the fact that she somehow made it there, she is sent to Middle earth to live forever. That is where this story picks up.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter one**

Legolas Pov:

I walked down the stairs to the deepest part of the Palace. Alex had been "_pleading_" for me to go to my father's midnight _soirée_, though Alex called it a night club, I am not sure what that is, but I suspect it can't be good. And knowing that my father is also involved in this makes it even worse. The more I descended I heard a strange sound grow. It was something I had never heard before, though I could compare it to the thumping of a war drum, though the rhythm was indeed strange and foreign. I did not like it at all, it seemed to suck peace right out of the air.

As I got near the door I began to hear screaming, hooting and whistling. It made me stop short and I immediately considered turning around and pretending I never heard anything. Curse this curiosity, though I do blame it on Alex, she has somewhat rubbed off on me... though I'd rather cut my hand off before I admit it to her. I took a deep breath and prepared myself as I reached for the handle. I had been here only as an elfling and left for good reasons, but now I seemed to have an even greater sense of dread as my hand turned the handle. I was met with a sight that no immortal life is long enough to erase from memory.

The place looked nothing like how I remembered it to be. The first thing I noticed were the colorful and glittering lights that seemed like they were dancing around the place. I looked up and was stunned to say the least; there they were, Merry and Pippin, dangling from a rope that was tied around their midriff, with a drunken look and holding pieces of colored glasses which they altered in front of the large torch that was used to light the place. They were laughing, drunkenly, and waving their hands erratically to change the lights faster. The next thing that registered was the odd music. Not only was the sound of the instruments something I had not heard before, but the singing had a bizarre rhythm and the lyrics were the most obscene thing I had ever heard in my life.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when suddenly there was a loud roar and a burst of hoots and laughter and I turned towards the large crowd that was gathering around the drinking. I started to make my way through the crowd when suddenly something landed on my head. I took it, looked at it and it seemed to be some type of cloth, but on closer inspection I felt my heart stop.

"No… please no," I whispered to myself as I realized with dread what the cloth was: my father's clothing. I was pulled out of my thoughts once more when loud cheering and screams made my ears ring momentarily. I looked up and I could not believe what I was seeing: there, on top of the bar, were my father and Alexandra. Something happened that had never happened in my two thousand year old life, my jaw dropped. My father was wearing nothing but loin cloth. Alex was dressed, thank the Valar, though I would not count on that being the case for too long if this continued. They began to dance, swaying their bodies on a horrifying manner most obscene and crude. Suddenly, my father gave his back to Alex and swayed his posterior to her and Alex just gave him a please smile. She then proceeded to step forward and began to do as the lyrics said:

_Smack that all on the floor_

_Smack that, give me some more_

_Smack that, till you get sore_

_Smack, oh oh oh oh!_

Thankfully she was not actually "smacking" him, as the song so crudely suggested, but only swaying her hand back and forth close enough to make it look as if she was.

It was then that I began to shake with anger. The sight made my blood boil. I began to shake so much that I did not noticed I had torn my father's robe in two. I tried desperately to get through the crowd, but I could not. I had never seen a crowd of drunken elves like this! It had to be Alex's fault! Nothing like this had ever happened before until she got involved! It was slow progress, but I was finally arriving to the front line when suddenly the elves quiet down. I look up in wonder of what made them do so. I see my father, still standing on the bar with his arms extended in sign of silence. A mischievous smile that does not belong to a King spread across his face.

"Who wants to see Alexandra naked?!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Suddenly the crowd went wild beyond reason. My father then turned towards Alex, extending a hand towards her and yelled:

"Take it off!"

He proceeded to wave his fist in the air as he began to chant, along with the crowd "Take it off! Take it off!"

'_She would not. Certainly wouldn't-_' She would alright... I saw her reach for the helm of her tunic and raised it, but stopped mid way and gave the crowd a teasing smile.

"Should I?" she asked, faking the most innocent smile I had ever seen her wear. A crowd of "YES" suddenly exploded, and she smiled drunkenly and proceeded to continue.

That was when I had enough.

"**ALEXANDRA LUCIA GRANGER YOU PUT YOUR TUNIC DOWN RIGHT THIS INSTANCE!**"

The drunken look suddenly disappeared off her face, her eyes widened and the look of fear was mirrored in every feature of her face. That was when everything went quiet as the sound of instruments crashing all over the place sounded behind me. I stared her down and I saw her fingers begin to tremble slightly as she slowly put her tunic down.

"H-hey, Legolas… I can… this is not what it looks like," she said, taking tiny steps back. I saw that she was about to reach the edge of the bar and I instinctively reached for her, calling her name, but she took it as a hostile act and tried to take a step back, only to give a yelp and fall in the mess of empty bottles behind the counter. I heard the breaking of glass and a pained moan.

"Ow… medic," I heard her say in a small voice.

"Alex!" I yelled as I made my way around the counter. I saw her on the floor, a few pieces of glass had cut into her skin, but nothing too serious. I was about to reach for her when my father's voice distracted me.

"Legolas! You cannot just yell at a lady's face like that! It is terrible manners!"

"You are one to talk!" I said, straightening up and pointing at him. I saw him as he gasped, quite dramatically, along with a collective gasp from the elves, and for a moment I thought I had crossed the line, but then he reached for the torn piece of robe that I was still holding in my hand.

"You! You tore my robe!" he said with a shaking voice.

"That is not the major problem here!" I retorted, infuriated.

"This was imported from Valinor when the first elves came to Middle earth! Do you know how much this costs?!" he said, shaking the torn fabric in my face.

"You're the king! NOTHING costs you!"

Thranduil pouted. "That does not mean I cannot appreciate good quality," he said, turning around with a sulking face as he looked over his precious robe.

"Um, I need a little help here."

The pained voice made me remember the girl behind me. "Oh, right," I said, turning around and picking her in my arms. The stench of alcohol was revolting. There had been much more than just Dorwinion wine involved. I could smell the hobbits's brews and even some dwarf liqueur. I bared with Alxandra's drunken chatter and tears as I left the place. I did not even have to look back to know that my father was preparing to start this all over once I was gone.

"Do not even think about it!" I yelled, looking over my shoulder.

"But-"

"No! You are coming with me, now!"

He gave an overly exaggerated sigh. "My dear son, you're such a bore… I bet you got that from your mother," he said with an impish grin.

"Who is the parent here anyways?"

"Not you, but you could be," he said, looking from me to Alex and back to me with a suggestive smile.

"No," I said, sternly. "Now shut up and do as I say!" I said, exasperatedly and mentally exhausted.

"Yes, _mother_," he said in a heavily sarcastic tone…

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**Reviews and comments are greatly welcomed! :D**


	2. So let me explain

**Hello once more. Just wanted to let you know that we will not be updating very frequently. We will try to have a chapter up on Thursdays, though final weeks are here and exams and work are raining on so if we fall behind it's because of that. We'll see if next week we can post twice, but we can't promise anything.**

**We would love to thank all of you who read Reasons why and are now reading this. Windy-sana and I love it when we see people we recognize. To all of you who are new, Welcome! And thanks for taking your time to read this fic.**

**Chapter two**

Alexandra's pov

So, uh, I bet you're all wondering how we got to this situation. Haha, funny story. Um, how do I explain this? I mean, it didn't really plan any of this. Actually I never really plan anything… you get my point! The thing is, after the breaking of the fellowship, things got boring at Gondor. I spent a year there while Legolas and Gimli went to travel to see caves and forest and all that shit. I was told I could tag along. Sleeping in the dirt? Not showering for weeks? Eating whatever thing you could whip up from under the ground? Hell no! After all I've been through I wanted to stay away from Mother Nature for a while. So I _politely_ declined.

"_FUCK_ **NO**!" I yelled in their faces after they invited me to accompany them.

So I spent a long and dull year at Gondor, mostly alone. Eowyn came to visit once in a while, Faramir (still as handsome as ever) stayed clear of me, but after a while I managed to show him that I was not as perverted as I had appeared to be. That was actually thanks to Eowyn who did her best to put me in good light in his eyes. Also, the fact that I knew Boromir and the fact that Aragorn told him I had done all I could to save his life made me warm up to him.

But their visits were not frequent and Aragorn was too busy running a kingdom and fixing the rest of Middle earth to give me any attention, plus Arwen is still keeping a close eye on me *cough cough* possessive b*tch *cough*. Anywho, I ended up becoming friends with a ton of little kids from Gondor. I believe that it was the child inside of me that made me befriend these adorable little kiddies, that, or the fact that no respectable adult even looked at me without their faces scrunching up in disapproval. But that's okay, it feels great being looked up to by all these little kids. It's like having my own little posy and they do everything I say with eagerness. Being a parent must be great! I don't know what everybody complains about all the time, especially my mother. She would often moan to herself and ask what she had done wrong to deserve such punishment. I was a great kid! Anyways, back to our story, was bored, so when Legolas and Gimli returned from their trip, I was actually pretty excited to see them again.

"Legolas!" I yelled as I ran towards the elf and jumped at him, put my arms around his neck and gave him a tight squeeze. "I'm so happy you're back!" I did not realize that Legolas was stiff as a stone. Only when I felt arms slowly begin to touch my back did I realize what I had done. My eyes widened and I jumped ten feet in the air. "Ew, ew, ew! You can't just hug me like that, Legolas! I am a lady! And what's wrong with your face? It's all red! Even your ears are red!"

He looked at me for a moment and I could see the wheels in his brain turning. "You were the one who hugged me, Alex," he said, plainly as if there was no joy in seeing me after a whole year.

"No I did not!" I said, defensively. "Gimli, tell him!"

"Eh, you did hug him, lassie."

"Pft, your eyes must be broken," I said as I stomped away, ignoring the heat on my cheeks from the embarrassment and mentally kicking myself for putting myself on that position.

Gimli's Pov:

"You know, lad, you could have shown a little more excitement at seeing her. She looked quite happy to see you," I said in a teasing tone, nudging the elf a bit.

"This is Alex that we are talking about. I hardly believe that she would be excited to see _me_."

"But _you _were excited to see her. She was all you talked about for the past week. Were you not saying about how you plan to invite her to travel with you to Eryn Lasgalen?"

I could see the lightest shade of pink on his face as he tried to wave it off and walked away. "I did not do such things. Now stop it with your foolish bantering and let us get going, Aragorn is waiting."

"Oi, you are even starting to sound like her," I teased as I chuckled and followed the elf up the city.

**So, what do you think? It was probably not the funniest, but this was mostly an informative chapter that was necessary for you to get the idea of what's been going on and what will happen. We are taking ideas like last time, so if you have an idea about an event that involves Alex and any character in Middle earth, let us know. Nothing is too crazy, well, you saw the first chapter so you can see that crazy is what we want.**


	3. Meeting the Party King

**Hey! So just to let you know we might not have a chapter for next Thursday… yeah I'm on the edge of academic suicide, finals are here, I've almost gotten ran over by the huge bus twice in less than a week… my mind isn't in its best moments to think clearly. I'm surprised I'm alive. And Windy-san is now on her new job so she too has her time limited, so there's a possibility that we will not have then next chapter ready by next week, though if that were to happen then we will try our best to have one out early the next week, maybe Tuesday.**

**Enjoy! Reviews and comments are always loved :D**

**Chapter 3**

The first time meeting Thranduil was terrifying. I mean, how many times in your life do you get to meet a real life King, and the King of Mirkwood, uh, no, I mean Greenwood… or was it Eryn something about Lasg… Lasgan… Oh I don't know, something about lasagna. You know people in Middle earth can't write a name without making it freaking weird and complicated.

Okay, so at first I was confused as to why Legolas wanted me to travel with him. You know, the two of us… alone… It's not like we're friends or anything, and we don't exactly see eye to eye, uh more like we want to actually poke each other's eye… I mean, there was that one time, I'm not really sure, but when I was dying I think I might have said that I actually liked him. But come on! I was losing blood like hell, I was on my death bed for crying out loud! Anyone can make a mistake in that sort of situation... Anyways, back to the topic at hand, meeting his dad. So on our travel we had enough time for him to tell me about his dad, and the thing he most repeated was that he was terrible and awful and that his attitude was the worst thing I could think of. So yeah, I was pretty scared to meet him. What if he didn't like me? (Like ninety percent of Middle earth)

At some point I realized that I had been really thinking how to make his dad like me. Then I began to contemplate why I had been thinking so hard on ways to make him like me. I mean, it's not like we're a couple or anything. Pffft, that is seriously crazy. Me and Legolas together? Yeah right! I mean like he's not good looking or anything, but… I mean he actually is pretty hot if you think about it, and he has some awesome battle skills that make a woman go week on the knees, and he has such beautiful golden hair that make you wonder how it would feel to run your hands through it, and those beautiful sky blue eyes that make any stormy day bright, and that voice that can sing and make angels bow down in shame, and those lips, oh God those lips! I mean, have you ever seen such freaking kissable lips?! I just wanna… I just wanna… I don't even know what I wanna do, damn it! Why am I even thinking about this? He's a pompous narcissistic, bastard elf that just wants to show off every time he gets the chance! I should hate him! I should totally hate him!

I just look at him, riding beside me and I felt a sudden anger at his stupid perfectness.

"I fucking hate you, you stupid son of half troll!"

Legolas simply looked at me, stunned, and just sighed.

"Do you not ever behave like a normal person?"

"Why should I?"

He simply shook his head, apparently resigned to how I am, and continued to ride along.

Those were twenty one long days. By the time we reached Greenwood, I was mentally exhausted. Have you any idea what it's like to spend nights and nights in the middle of nowhere with the most beautiful being in the planet and you can't even touch him! I mean, I am a perfectly healthy young woman with needs who still hasn't gotten any action, so it's just normal to want to have thoughts about jumping the elf while he's sleeping and just gobble him up! But of course this is Legolas we're talking about and I would end up running all the way back to Gondor to avoid my inevitable death if I tried anything funny with him. Stick in the mud.

So yeah, back to meeting Legolas's dad. Apparently he somehow knew that we had arrived cuz he was waiting at the entrance of his palace accompanied by a few more elves. I hadn't see anyone on our way there, but elfs do have that supervision so someone probably saw us from afar and told him. I was a nervous wreck. I don't remember the last time I was actually lost for words and acting with all the properness I could muster. Legolas gave me a reassuring smile but that didn't help at all. All I could think of was of the majestic elf standing in front of me. He was so tall, with beautiful long, golden hair that cascaded from his head to his shoulders and was crowned with a flower crown, wearing long and beautiful robes. The next thing I noticed was how incredibly beautiful this guy was. I mean damn! He was drop DEAD gorgeous! He had jewel like eyes that had such a dept that spoke of thousands of years of life. His features seemed as if they had been hand carved by angels. And, dare I say it, his beauty was even more brilliant and dazzling that Legolas's. I was just dumbfounded! I saw as Legolas got a hug from his father and they spoke a few things in elvish before Legolas turned towards me with a smile and introduced me to his father.

"Father, this is Alexandra Lucia. Alexandra, this is my father, Thranduil Oropherion, King of Eryn Lasgalen."

Thranduil had a light smile as he looked at me and gave me a curt nod. "Such a lovely name for such a beautiful lady."

I only know I blushed a little. I didn't even know where I should be looking at. Would it be rude if I stared at his face? Maybe I should not look at him? Or is it rude not to look at him?! Legolas never really prepared me for this moment. I had no experiences with kings. I mean, Aragorn was a king but I met him when he was basically a street rat, and Lord Elrond wasn't exactly a king. So how should I react? What should I say?! My mouth spoke when my mind was still trying to process the thoughts, so I just blurted out the first thing that managed to come out.

"Uh, thanks… You too? I mean! Not you too as in you too are beautiful! I mean, not that you're not beautiful! I mean, cuz you're gorgeous! But I'm not hitting on you! I would never hit on you! Not that you're not worthy of being hit on by me! Wait, you probably don't even know what 'hitting on' means. It's not actually hitting as in me hitting you, it's more like… oh what's that word? Court? Courting! But I'm not courting you or anything. That would be awkward since you're Legolas's father. That would be like hitting on my father! I mean, that's just totally weird, right?"

Silence.

There was just a dead silence in the air. The elves that were accompanying the King were looking at me with a look of horror that I had never seen on elves before. Legolas just looked like he was about to slam his head against a tree, but settled for just putting his hand over his face with a look that said "Oh God! What did you just do?!"

That's when I looked at Thranduil and I see that he has this deadly serious face on and I can only think of one thing: I'm about to be beheaded and fed to the few remaining giant spiders in the forest. He slightly parted his lips and gave a small nod.

"Of course," was all he said. He then looked at Legolas and the rest of the elves around him and said, "Could you all excuse us for a moment? Legolas, you too. I need to speak to Alexandra alone."

Everyone remained silent. slowly, the elves began to walk away, some giving me looks of pity before disappearing. Legolas was hesitant to leave. He took a step forward and began to speak.

"Father I think-" but he was interrupted when Thranduil made a small movement of his hand, silencing him immediately.

"This is no concern of your's Legolas," he said in an authoritarian voice that sent shivers down my spine.

I see that Legolas really knows not to go against his father, so he spares me one last look before moving away. We stood there for a while, giving the elves a chance to get away from earshot. I feel like running but my feet are just rooted to the floor, which was an incredibly odd thing since one of my most special abilities is running like hell, but I was jinxed by his powerful stare. He started to pace around me, thoroughly studying me, and I knew I was about to really die.

"So, Alexandra," he started, slowly. "Tell me something." He paused for a second, waiting for my reply.

"Uh… yes?" I said in a small voice.

"Did you really break a vase on top of Gandalf's head?"

"Uh…" Is this a trick question? Is this some kind of test? What kind of question is that?! I was about to get killed and this is what I had to answer right before I died? What will he think if I say the truth? I mean, I just disrespected him and I was about to admit that I had also disrespected one of the most powerful beings in the entire Middle earth? I was just digging myself a deeper hole! I wanted to lie. Normally I would have shamelessly lied like a filthy rug, but the way he held my gaze so intensely, for the first time in my life I didn't dare to.

So I did what I had to. I straightened my back, held a firm stance and looked him straight in the eye. If I was about to die, then I would do it with dignity! As I spoke, my voice didn't quiver, my eyes didn't avert and my body didn't hesitate.

"Yes, yes I did."

He just stared at me with a serious expression and I held his gaze with the same determination.

"By the Valar! That is simply astonishing!" His face had gone from dead serious to a wide and giddy smile and his eyes had mischievous gleam in them . "I mean, even I do not dare to do such a thing, and I am the King!"

I was still rooted to the floor, but for a different reason now, and that was the massive shock I was going through. Was I dead and imagining all this? Can you imagine things when you're dead? Maybe I was just going through brain damage because of the fear and was now hallucinating.

He suddenly put his hands on my shoulders, beaming at me as if I was a superhero and him the little fanboy.

"You, little lady, are one courageous lass."

"Uh…"

"Come now, you simply must tell me the whole story," he said, putting a hand behind my back and leading me into the palace. I simply followed like a robot. I could not think straight. Here I was thinking I was facing my death, and this majestic king just bursts into a major gossip girl mode. This was seriously above and beyond my list of all things weird in Middle earth.

Legolas pov

I had given my father a half hour with Alexandra, but seeing as they were not back yet, I decided to go out and see how things were going. But as I arrived to where I had left them, I could find no one. I began to ask if anyone had seen where my father and Alex were, but the guards had changed shifts so no one had seen them in a long time. I began to search the palace and ask for them, but no one had seen them. Over an hour later I found someone who told me he had seen my father taking Alex to the deepest level in the dungeons. I felt as the blood drained from my face. Surely, he would not hurt her. Surely… I darted towards the dungeons. I was quite far from them at the moment, never having imagined that he would take her there. By the time I was arriving there it had been almost two hours since I had left them, enough time to allow too many things to happen. I began to call for them, but I got no answer. There was no place I had not searched in the dungeons. The only thing left was the gold vault, in the deepest parts of the palace. I did not expect to find them there, but I made my way there just in case. I heard movement inside and my ears suddenly caught the sound of Alexandra's voice, begging.

"Oh, God no... Please... just stop" she wheezed between strangled breaths, almost as if she was choking "I can't... take this anymore! Please... stop!"

I felt my heart drop and I burst through the door. The sight before me was truly horrifying, but not for the reasons I had expected. There he was, my father, with half of the jewelry of the vault decorating his body. He was holding a spear as if it was a staff and was waving it around as if he was casting magic spells.

Alexandra was bent over, choking for air as one does after having laughed too much to the point where they can no longer do so. My father, on the other hand, was mimicking Gandalf.

"I could have totally gotten everyone to Mordor in one night on the eagles that always respond to my call, but I did not because I am Gandal and I do whatever I want!"

Alex just fell to the floor, clutching her sides as her laughter became nothing more than silent wheezes as her lungs struggled for air. It was then that my father noticed my presence.

"Oh, Legolas! Where have you been? Alexandra is such a darling! Why did you not introduce me to her sooner?"

I was stunned into silence for a moment. Just what was he wearing?! It was then that Alex noticed my presence as well and, even though she was a little breathless, she managed to get back to her feet.

"Man, Legolas! You really had me scared for a while! You made me think your father was this terrifying tyrant. But he's the coolest person I've met in Middle earth! Why did you say he was such a terrible person?!"

Legolas looked between me and his father a few times and then sighed.

"What have I done?" I whispered to myself. I could not believe it. I've taken two monsters and made an even bigger one. How did I not see this coming? I had not anticipated anything regarding their relationship since they met. Considering Alex's history of problems with authority, I had expected, or rather hoped, for them to keep safe distance from each other. It seems I was catastrophically wrong. I had told Alex my father was terrible because to me he was a terrible being. Yes, he could be a proper and versatile King when he wanted to, but he could also be the most troublesome and childish person I had ever met. In a way, he was worse than Alex, because she was just an ordinary being (if the word 'ordinary' can actually fit Alex) but my father was a King, a King!

"Oh! Oh!" Alex exclaimed. "Can you do a Galadriel impression?"

I saw as my father extended his arms in a regal manner.

"I am your Queen! All shall love me and despair!"

Alex burst into laughter, but I simply turned on my heels and walked out without saying another word.

Alex's Pov.

After I had managed to stop laughing, I noticed that Legolas was gone.

"Are you sure you're his real dad?" I said looking at Thranduil with a questioning look.

Thranduil was silent for a moment, contemplating this. "Hmm, well, I am almost certain that he is mine… almost. There is always a chance that he might not be," he said with mock seriousness, but I knew there was no denying that he was his. We looked at each other and shared another good laugh. Somehow I knew my boring days in Middle Earth would finally be over.

**So? What do y'all think? Comments and reviews are always welcome. Don't be shy. Also, we are taking suggestions and ideas so either by comment or PM you can let us know.**


	4. Eeeee! Giant spider!

**Okay, so this is a bit of a long chapter. I think chapters might regularly be around this long for this fic. Anyways, sorry once more for the delay. It's ridiculous how Windy-san's schedule and mine clash as if the universe was actually trying to keep us from getting together to write. We hope you like this chapter.**

**WARNING: Though I believe there is no need for this since this is a PARODY after all, I shall remind you that there will be plenty of OOC, especially with Thranduil.**

**Anyone who wants to see the pictures that inspired us to create this Thranduil can go to my profile and follow the links. They're awesome, trust me :D**

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**Chapter 4**

So my real first day at Greenwood started the day after I arrived. It didn't start the best way since I yelled at an elf lady's face when she came to wake me up at seven in the morning for breakfast. I thought royalty woke up whenever they wanted to have breakfast. But no, they're elves and they wanna get up early with the birdies and shit. So yeah, the elf lady brought me this long ass dress, since no one had yet had the time to take my measurements to make me some clothes, and everything I had from the journey was smelly and all stained. Actually, I left with three sets of clothing from Gndor, including the one I was wearing, and all of them ended up as if I had been rolling down a rocky hill. Meanwhile, Legolas only brought the one set of clothes he was wearing and they remained as if he had never worn them in the first place! Explain that! So anyways, I was left stumbling my way around the castle. That is, until I ripped about a foot or two of fabric. The elf I took the dagger from to cut it off was rather stunned at my rash behavior. But meh, I'm used to people reacting to me that way. It's my thing, ya know? So anyway, yeah, elves apparently don't know the meaning of "sleeping in", so after that little fiasco with the skirt, I finally went to have breakfast with Thranduil and Legolas.

So I literally broke through the giant palace doors into the dining area. To my surprise, I saw some elf guards flinch at the booming sound. Apparently they're not used to loud noises here. Well too bad, cuz I'm here now and silence doesn't go well with me. I looked over at the table and saw Legolas, but my eyes went for Thranduil. I saw him and nodded my head and raised my hand at him.

"What up, Big T?" I exclaimed cheerfully.

Thranduil returned the wide smile and gave me a peace sign with one of his hands, something that I had taught him the day before at the vault. "Not much, my bff. Just chillin' with my son." he said cheerfully. Oh yeah, I had also taught Thranduil some "earth lingo".

Legolas looked between the two, a bewildered expression on his face. I saw him mouth the word chillin' and just shook his head with a very confused expression.

"Ada, what does bff mean?"

Thranduil gave Legolas a look of disbelief. "Dear Legolas! Get with the program. Of course bff means 'best friends forever. Valar, Legolas, you're so old fashioned!"

Legolas looked insulted and he was not trying to hide it. How on earth was he supposed to know? But yeah, I loved that right now I was seeing parts of Legolas that I had never seen. When he was with the Fellowship, he was so reserved and hardly showed that he felt much, but now with his dad and being in a home environment, he showed a lot more than he usually did.

So after eating breakfast, Thranduil and Legolas set out with me to show me around the city. It was amazing how the elves carved a city inside the mountain. I know Moria was supposed to be a grand thing, but it wasn't compared to this. Then again, we did only see what was left after the siege. Anyways, Thranduil was showing me around the place, but he constantly got distracted with passing elves, saying things like "Alagcelon, dashing robe you were wearing last Sunday," or, "Wonderful party last week, Aglared, it was marvellous." Then he leaned in to whisper to me. "But his choice of fashion was ghastly!" he said while he chuckled, giving the elf a look before looking at me again.

"Really, adar," Legolas said in a sigh, pressing his fingers to his forehead, but his comment was ignored.

"I mean, honestly, that robe with those shoes? What was he thinking?! His fashion is as bad as a dwarf's," he said before laughing loudly at his own joke.

I simply chuckled a bit. I mean, I agree with him, dwarfs don't have any fashion sense whatsoever, but since I'm friends with Gimli, I didn't really feel like commenting on it. Legolas, on the other hand, seemed rather offended and ready to defend his friend's honor, or fashion sense.

"Adar, please, those sorts of comments aren't fit for a respectable King." He spat that last part with a slight sneer, making it almost sound as if he was actually calling Thranduil unfit to be King. Thranduil stopped in his tracks immediately after hearing this. He spun around dramatically to look at his son, his hand in his chest, his eyes wide and his mouth opened in shock. He almost looked comical.

"Ion nín!" he exclaimed before trailing into fast elvish that I could not follow. I never thought I would see an elf be so physical in his expression. He started to throw a tantrum! I mean, a real childish tantrum! He flung his arms and stomped his feet, raising his voice more than I had ever thought elves were capable of. I could hardly keep up with what he was saying since he would slip between elvish and english after two words. I caught "You ungrateful son!", "You don't get me!", I had to snicker at that, he sounded like a real angsty teenager. "Your mother would understand me!" he then stopped and gave a melodramatic sigh. "Oh, why did your mother had to depart to the Heavens and leave me with you?" he then became quite melancholic, pressing his face to his hands. "I was so young! What did I know about raising a little elfling! This is all my fault! I should have raised you better. It was my duty to make you more trend-aware and sociable! But no, you wanted to play with arrows! And trees! And dirt!" he spat, each time getting closer and closer to his face.

I saw Legolas' eyes narrow dangerously. "That is what normal elves do! You, on the other hand, have done nothing in the past century but throw senseless parties and done nonsense while I had to break my back trying to get the Ring bearer to Mordor in order to save Middle earth!"

Okay, even I thought that his words were a bit harsh. I could see the hurt in Thranduil's eyes as his lips formed a pout, so I decided that as his bff I had to do something about it. I jumped in between them, using my tush to bump Legolas back as hard as I could and giving Thranduil the biggest smile I could. "Hey, bff! How about you show me that fabulous elk of yours?"

Instantly, Thranduil's eyes brightened and his smile returned to his face so fast that it was almost as if nothing had happened at all. "Why certainly, my bff," he said, emphasizing 'my' as he gave Legolas a quick glare. "At least someone here understands me."

I heard Legolas groan behind me as Thranduil led me away and I looked over my shoulder to glare at him. He swung his arms up in the air with an exasperated look. I was actually a bit stunned since I had never seen him do that before. Anyways, we got to the stables and I got to see the massive elk. That thing is way bigger than I had imagined. Truly fit for a King. Man, that thing is majestic as fuck!

"Wow," I said out loud. "You are one awesome creature!" I said in awe.

Thranduil smiled, rather proudly I might say, and gave quite the smug laugh and went to pet him. He then switched to elvish, and from the way he said it, I believe he had told him what I just said. The elk puffed his chest and huffed loudly to show his appreciation. He then moved his head forwards and nudged me.

"Aw! It likes me! It actually likes me!" I exclaimed with more enthusiasm than I like to admit. Thing don't normally like me, okay? People, animals, wizards, basically most things that breathe. I looked back at Legolas with a massive grin, but instead, I found him glaring at the elk. I was shocked to say the least. I looked at Thranduil with questioning eyes. He just chuckled.

"Oh, don't worry darling, Alagos just doesn't like Legolas that much."

My jaw dropped in shock at that comment. There's actually an animal capable of disliking Legolas but liking me?! I gazed between the angry elf and the elk and I could have sworn that the elk was actually glaring back at Legolas. Legolas just gave a rather un elf like huf and turned around.

After that little awkward moment, Thranduil decided to give me a tour of the surrounding forest. He decided to go on his elk while Legolas and I just grabbed two horses and followed. I must say, seeing Thranduil on the elk made me realize that no horse would have ever done justice to the King's majestic aura. It just radiated from him! Anyways, we went around the forest, Legolas got a bit ahead of us to inspect something. That was when I got this brilliant idea of pranking Legolas. It was easy to draw Thranduil in. It would be a bit of revenge for earlier. Anyways, we agreed that I would take a stroll away from the group and pretend I got lost. Easy with my lack of sense of direction in bloody forests. Then I would cry wolf, saying there was a giant spider, and let Legolas get a small heart attack while he thinks I'm being devoured. Anyways, Thranduil placed me on the spot, just to make sure I wouldn't really get lost and he leave. I gave him a minute before I burst into a blood curling shriek.

"Spider! Help me!" I shrieked again and snickered when I heard Legolas calling my name with urgency. I am still laughing when I hear the creaking of leaves behind me. I freeze on the spot. I slowly look back and, what do you know? There was not one, not two, but a freaking hord of giant spiders behind me! The Universe is cruel indeed.

"FUCK!" I screamed as I made a run for it.

Meanwhile

Legolas broke through the bushes and found his father, laughing himself silly.

"Father! Alexandra? Where is she?!"

Thranduil waved his hand and managed to control his laughter.

"Oh relax, she is fine."

"But-"

"It was just a silly jest to get you back for being so mean earlier."

Alex's screams reached their ears once more.

"Help!"

Legolas rolled his eyes and ignored her.

"Fucking damn it! Somebody help me! The screams seemed to be getting closer.

"Enough, Alex!" Legolas shouted. "I know you are only jesting!"

"I'm not joking you bloody son of a half troll!"

Legolas gave his father a smug smirk, crossing his arms over his chest. "You heard her."

"Why I never!" Thranduil exclaimed.

Suddenly, they heard Alex's footsteps and a second later she broke through the trees, flying past them like an arrow while screaming madly. "RUN!"

True enough, a horde of giant spiders was on her tail. For the briefest of seconds, the two elves were left stunned at the fact that there was actually a horde of giant spiders chasing her. The two elves quickly jumped into action, slaying them as fast as they could, but one managed to slip past them and follow Alex.

Alex's pov

I ran so fast I wasn't even sure if I was being followed anymore, but I didn't even dare to think about it cuz my legs were just moving on their own and if I tried to just control them I would probably end up tangling them and crashing down. So I just kept running until I saw that in I was running out of terrain. In front of me was a rather large ditch under which a fast river passed. I could see the thin corde that the elves had left there to pass from one side to another, just like they did in Lothlorien. There was no way I could walk over that on my own, but there was a giant spider on my tail, so I did what I could: I lunged myself in mid air and just grabbed at the cord as I fell. Luckily I managed to hold onto it, but there was no way I could move from that spot. The spider seemed to realize quickly that I was a lost cause and left. So, I was left dangling in the middle of the ditch, furious river flowing at my feet, and no way to get across. After a few minutes passed of me catching my breath, I started to get a bit panicked at being trapped. So as I was about to open my mouth to scream for help, an elf that just so happened to be walking around found me.

"Lady Alexandra? What are you doing there?" he asked, and I could not tell if he was actually asking me or if it was rhetorical.

"Oh, nothing," I said most casually. "You know, just hanging around, watching the scenery. Nice river, huh?" I said, sarcasm dripping from my words like poison.

"Yes…" he said, reluctantly, obviously not getting me at all. "Quite so. Is… is this a custom of your people? To dangle from ropes to watch the scenery?"

"No you bloody elf! I was attacked by a giant spider and this was the only way out! Now get your ass over here and help me!".

So I learned a few lessons: one, never joke about giant spiders in a forest where there are actual giant spiders, and two, never call Legolas son of a half troll when his father might be hearing. Thranduil didn't take it too kindly and I had to explain the whole dynamic Legolas and I shared at the beginning of the Quest.

* * *

**Woohoo! Yeah, we did it, a chapter was finally posted. So what did you think? Any ideas? Wacky or serious, we take them all into serious****consideration and try to integrate them into the story. Some of you like Thranduil with Alex and so we decided that in future chapters some fan service will be given, though Legolas and Alex are the main pairing here. No love triangle, that's for sure, just some wacky, crazy times.**


	5. Of elven parties and real parties

**Hi! I was just trying to replace the chapter since I found some mistakes, but the freaking darn things wouldn't allow me (problems with the system or I don't know what) so I had to erase the chapter and post it as a new chapter, so it's still the same chapter for those who have read it.**

**Parody + Humor= Major OOC**

**Chapter 5**

A few days had gone by since I had arrived at Greenwood. I had spent most of my time prancing around with Thranduil and helping him with his kingly duties, which turned out to be a huge mistake, sorry Celebsigil...

_ "So, Celewilly,"_

_ "It is 'Celebsigil'," the elf told me, trying to hide his annoyance._

_ "Yeah, whatever. So I'm helping Thranduil out with his duties and all, and he told me that I could help you organize the latest reports."_

_ The elf in question raised an eyebrow. "Do you know any Sindarin?"_

_ Shit. "Uh, no…"_

_ The elf sighed. "Then how do you propose you help me if you cannot read what it's written?"_

_"Um, I don't know. Don't you have anything that's in english?"_

_"English?"_

_"Yeah!"_

_The elf looked honestly confused. "Is english what you call the common tongue, by any chance?"_

_"Oh right, yeah, that."_

_He gave it a thought. In the end, since I couldn't read Sindarin I really couldn't do anything with the reports, books or anything that required reading or writing, and in the end I was given the task to dust off the place. Whoopy. NOT! Anyways, I spent a good half an hour cleaning dust from the shelves and stuff, though I was ,told to keep away from the tables that had stacks of papers. Some were old reports, others pages of books that had to be sewed back, and stuff like that. So yeah, I was simply walking pass certain table when I notice a little silver shine from in between the giant stacks of paper. I made sure the elf was busy with his own things before I tiptoed as close as I could to the table. I could only see a tiny bit of silver metal trapped between the papers and, well, curiosity got the best of me. I carefully reached in, trying my very best not to touch anything. I was so close, my finger was already touching the shiny metal. Somehow, as I began to pull it out, a stack fell, and that stack pushed another, and another, and another… and yeah, the entire table came down, papers flying in every direction, mixing everything that had been sorted out._

_"What in Eru's name?!" the elf exclaimed as he got to his feet, his eyes wide as marbles._

_I stood frozen on the spot, arm stretched over the table, grabbing the silver item, my back slightly bent over and the duster on my other hand. I slowly looked at the item in my hand. For a mess of this magnitude, this had better be something worth this, but no, it was a spoon. A bloody damned spoon!_

_"Fuck!" I muttered._

_"Ego! Hi!" he shouted in outrage. _

_I didn't know what he had just said but I was pretty sure he was telling me to leave. Whether it was that or not, I was not going to stick around to find out. I bolted out of the room, spoon still in my hand._

_"Sorry, Celeseagull!" I yelled as I ran out of the room._

_"It is Celebsigil!" he shouted after me. _

Anyways, back to the main story. I was now bored and with nothing to do since elves live life way too slowly for my liking, and even though I was now basically "blessed" with elven longevity, I could not get into that slow elven mojo. So one day over breakfast I told Legolas of my boredom. I didn't really think he was listening to me, but I guess he really took this into consideration because the next day he surprised me by taking me to the woods. We arrived at a little clearing where a few other elves were waiting. In the middle of the clearing there was a sort of band of elves with musical instruments. I was really surprised with the whole thing and a bit excited, that is until they actually started playing. A few elves danced under the stars and others simply listened to the music, all looking rather pleased with it all. I, on the other hand, was falling asleep on Legolas's shoulder. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the nice gesture and attempt to entertain me, but elf music is not really my style, and even if it picked up a few times to livelier music, it still wasn't my thing. If I had to describe it, it sounded like the celtic music one of my geek friends listened to. She was awesome, she was actually the reason I knew a slimmer of the whole Lord of the Rings movies. Anyways, I was falling asleep on Legolas' shoulder when he shook me awake.

"Are you not enjoying this?" he asked me.

"Wh-what huh?" I said, waking up. "Oh yeah no, it's pretty, the flutes and harps and all that stuff."

He frowned. "Then why are you falling asleep?"

"Cuz, though I appreciate your efforts in entertaining me, this is really not something fun for me."

He frowned a bit. "Alright, then what would be fun for you?"

I gave him a wide, mischievous grin.

_An hour later_

_Like the legend of the Phoenix,_

_All ends with beginnings._

_What keeps the planets spinning,_

_The force from the beginning_

The sound didn't sound exactly like the original Daft Punk song sounds since elvish instruments weren't nearly the same as the ones I know, but it still sounded pretty good. I chose that song even though it was not close to what I would prefer, but it was a start and I needed something less pop-ish sounding and more mellow. Anyways, teaching them the lyrics and getting the sound right was most of the fun. I was stunned to see how they quickly figured out the tune and all.

"Okay, now, you dance like this," I said, swaying my entire body smoothly at the rhythm of the song. Of course the elves were quite reluctant to move that way since it seemed so foreign to them and it was a bit far from the graceful movements they were used to.

_She's up all night till the sun,_

_I'm up all night to get some._

_She's up all night for good fun,_

_I'm up all night to get lucky._

As the chorus went on, I looked at the elves that were starting to slowly get into the dance and I gave one of the young elves a toothy grin as I danced in a humping motion when it repeated _"We're up all night to get lucky."_ I nudged him with my shoulder as I continued to do the motion. "If you get what I mean. Right? Right?" I said as I wiggled my eyebrows with a suggestive grin.

The elf simply stared at me for a moment. "No, I do not know."

I almost face palmed myself. I was surrounded by a bunch of big Kindergarteners. "Um, well, you know? Get lucky? As in… well, you know, getting some." I say, repeating the humping motion once just frowned a little as he tried to understand me. Now I did face palm myself. These were probably thousand year old virgins! And I really didn't dare explain what the song meant, remembering how the men of Rohan reacted to me over the slightest innuendo. "You know what? Just forget it and do the dance."

The elf accepted my response and continued to dance. Just imagine a bunch of elves dancing like that, oblivious to what the song and movements meant. After I was done teaching the elves on the dance floor the dance, I went over to Legolas and pulled him by the arm. "Come on, Legolas! Dance with me!" Legolas just gave me a slightly sheepish look and rooted his feet to the ground.

"I would prefer not to"

"Aw come on! Please? Just one!" I could see it in his eyes that he really wasn't convinced by my little dance and he suspected that it wasn't all that '_child proof'_'. Having spent so long with me must have made him aware of my antics. Just as I was about to try to convince him, the sound of hurried hooves interrupted me and in a few seconds, Thranduil came riding in on his elf.

"I heard Legolas had prepared a little soirée. How could you not invite me?!" he exclaimed, looking at Legolas. "I am always the life of the party!"

I smiled widely and let go of Legolas and just grabbed Thranduil.

"Come dance with me!" I said as I pulled him to the dance floor with no objection from his part and danced and danced deep into the night.

Legolas had simply shook his head but gave us a small smile. He sat on a tree branch and observed the whole thing for the rest of the night.

So in the end, Legolas' idea (I'll have to thank him later for that) was really a good one cuz I ended up having a lot of fun with the other elves and Thranduil, and I also started making a few friends as well. Things were looking good for me.

**Translations: **_Ego!- Begone. Hi!- Now!_

**A little note for those of you who might not know it, in Tolkien's language the name Celebsigil (which is the one I made for the elf) is read Celeb, the 'Ce' sounding solid like 'ca' does, and Sigil, 'gil' sounding solid as well, like 'Gilbert'.**

**Also, we are still contemplating on if we should or not change the title to "The many adventures of Alex in Middle earth". For those of you who didn't read the note before, this is because not every chapter will be about Alex and Thranduil, we want to show her adventures with other characters even thought Thranduil is a main character of the story. Let us know what you think please :)**


	6. Strip poker

**Warning: Once again, just in case, OOC characters.**

**Reviews and ideas are super welcome!**

**Chapter 6**

So Legolas is really excited cuz Gimli is arriving for a visit today and I can relate to that cuz I haven't seen him in quite a while. So I can't wait to see him again and have him tell me stories and get piss drunk with him again and joke around with him too… but mostly get drunk cuz nobody here wants to drink with me; not after that campfire incident last week. I can still smell the burning hair… but let's not go into that now. Anyways, I decided to sit out this one and let Legolas rendezvous with Gimli (I'm still getting over the whole giant spiders incident and I get jumpy when I go out)

So yeah, I was waiting around near the stables when I finally see the dwarf on his pony and Legolas right beside him. I could see that Legolas was having quite the little lively chat with him. His eyes were shining brightly and his smile was so honest… if I didn't know any better I'd say he was in love with the dwarf. But that sounds horribly disturbing so I won't think about that. Anyways, I started to walk towards them so I could meet them, and Gimli saw me and waved at me.

"Hey, lassy! How are the pointy eared ones treating you?" he said with a big grin on his face.

"Gimli!" I exclaimed as I threw my arms around him, almost knocking him off his pony. Then I got a good sniff of him and darted back. "Ew, you smell! How about you take a bath and we can then resume the happy reunion thing?"

Gimli chuckled. "Always the same Alex I see. Glad to know the uptight elves have not influenced you."

"Nah, man. I'm unchangeable!"

Legolas turned his head aside to grumble. "Indeed, Valar knows I have tried."

We moved on from the Stables to the Palace where Thranduil was waiting for us to arrive. I had not thought about asking Legolas was his dad's relationship with Gimli was, so I was not sure what to expect. I knew Gimli had visited Legolas' home when they left to travel for a year, but I don't know what happened then. Anyways, we got to the throne room and, well, it was quite an interesting sight. Thranduil has always been fabulous, but it seemed he was upgrading it. He was wearing this long and wide silver cape with beautiful designs. His crown seemed taller and with more flowers than usual, and he had this big ass staff that had glowing gems on it.

I wasn't the only one who noticed this strange new transformation, for Legolas stopped abruptly in his steps, before quickly trying to cover it up and continue walking, though I could see it in his eyes that he was indeed annoyed.

"Adar, Gimli has arrived."

Thranduil remained silent for a moment before sitting up straight and stood up, his clothes and capes whooshing around him so magnificently it was ridiculous. A small, courteous smile made itself visible on his face before he gave Gimli a small nod.

"Welcome, littl- I mean, Master dwarf."

No one missed that, but no one pointed it out either. Gimli just gave Thranduil a bow.

"It is an honor to be welcomed to Eryn Lasgalen, King Thranduil."

"Of course it is," Thranduil said, rolling his eyes.

I had to hide a laugh with a cough. It amazed me how Thranduil, the last elven King, could be so childish at times. Anyways, the day went on and there was palpable tension between Gimli and the King, so after a while of listening to disguised insults, I decided to just suggest a game to lighten the mood. What game? Well, none other than Strip Poker! I explained the rules to everyone and Legolas was highly against it, but Thranduil forced him to play. The thing is, Thranduil and I had already made a deal to make sure Legolas would lose. Why? Well, for Thranduil it was just a way to prank his son. For me it was an excuse to see him naked. I spent long nights in the plains alone with such a magnificent looking elf, and with only my imagination to give me comfort. Finally I would get to see what's underneath that tunic. We invited a few other male elves to play. I would not play, I would just pretend to be Gimli's ally and help him win. God knows I've seen what's under a dwarf's clothes and I don't ever want to poison my eyes like that again. Anyways, the first round started and I was guiding Gimli with all my experience and knowledge of the game, praying to God that he wouldn't lose so that I didn't have to see any dwarf part of him, ANY dwarf part! God knows I've seen enough naked dwarf parts to be traumatized for a lifetime, and I'm immortal now! Thranduil was actually catching up to the game really quickly. He was really very enthusiastic about it and seemed to be enjoying himself greatly. I was guiding Gimli, so in the end, Legolas lost the first round, much to his disappointed and my glee. Sadly, the only thing he lost was his shoes. Man, who knew feet could be this cute and pretty?! They look so soft I wanna touch 'em! Which is weird since I don't really have a feet fetish and this is the first time I've ever been attracted to feet. Another round passed and Legolas lost once more, this time removing his tunic, but sadly he still had a shirt beneath. Thranduil had actually won the first two rounds, even if he had no experience and I was guiding Gimli with all I got. But it seemed that he had other plans now, for he lost the next round, and it was really a very stupid loss. And, unlike his son who was smart enough to take off his shoes first, he just took off his robe, staying only in his trousers. He stood up and we followed him with our eyes. Then, he started to slowly unbutton his robe, ever so slowly as he gave a smirk, giving Gimli a side glance. Next, he let his robe fall just slightly over his shoulders, revealing a bit of chest. He made a pause for effect, and then whoosh! It all went off in such a graceful manner, the cloth just falling to the ground like a peacock's feather slowly drifting with the wind.

Holy Christ! And I thought he was gorgeous with clothes on! I never really thought of what lied underneath Thranduil's clothes. I mean, he's super handsome and all, but he's my bff so it never really crossed my mind to think beyond that. It really does make sense, to see such a gloriously fit body. He's a King after all, and a warrior, or so I've heard. His skin was fair and seemed to radiate light. His arms were strong, but not overly muscled. Lifting and swinging great battle swords really did wonders to him. And his abbs! My God! I just wanted to eat off of them! I don't think I've ever seen anyone so beautiful. I felt my mouth was hanging open and I really didn't register when my thoughts made their way to my lips.

"Wow, you are one hot papa!"

With a very smooth movement, he turned to look at me, his hair dancing in the air around him. He gave me a really smug smile and winked.

"Why thank you, my bff."

That was when I realized that I was voicing my thoughts. "Uh… did I really say that out loud?"

I yelped when there was a loud thud. I turned my head to see Legolas' fits planted on the table.

"Ada! Have you no shame?!"

"Why should I be ashamed of my glorious body?" he said, giving Gimli another side glance. It was way to obvious that he was just doing this to show off to the dwarf, not that I was complaining. Gimli just turned his face aside to mutter something in Khuzdul. He really didn't react much, to my surprise, but I guess he was really trying to be the bigger person here.

Thranduil finally sat down and the game went on. I was constantly throwing him glances. Having seen an elf shirtless for the first time was really taking its toll on me. I could hardly concentrate on helping Gimli win, and you know I can hardly concentrate under normal circumstances so this was extremely hard for me. Legolas had lost and I had thought he would finally take off his shirt and reveal what I had only seen in my fantasies, but no, he had to have an undershirt under his shirt! Damn elves and their ridiculous amount of clothes. How does an elf not sweat with so many clothes on?! But finally, after a few more rounds, the moment of truth came. I knew Legolas had nothing under his shirt when, after losing the round, he looked extremely hesitant. He was frowning with a concentrated look on his face.

"Come now, my son. Shirt off," Thranduil said, unfazed by his son's discomfort. "No need to be shy."

I took my chance to tease. "Yeah, no need to be shy," I said and I'm pretty sure I had a rape face on. "Take it off!"

That was when I saw him blush. He blushed! Like this cute, embarrassed blush that was so eeep! He frowned even more, his look of concentration doubling. Slowly, he brought his arms to the helm of his undershirt and grabbed it. I almost jumped over the table to get a better view. I was clawing the edge of the table like a maniac. The shirt started to go up and I saw the first bit of strong, toned skin. Think Heaven's light and angel choirs on the background. My eyes could not have been wider, desperate to devour the sight. I saw a hint of his belly button and I would have squealed… had it not been for Mister wuss to sissy out and dart out of the room before my mind could even register he was gone.

Everyone just stared in shock after him. But I darted to my feet.

"Oh no you don't! Get back here you sorry excuse for an elf! Get in here and take off your shirt! I did _not_ help Gimli make you lose just so you could sissy out like a pansy! I DEMAND TO SEE YOU NAKED!" I screamed for the entire palace to hear as I chased him.

_Thranduil and Gimli's pov_

Thranduil and Gimli just stared after Alex, both stunned to see such a reaction from her. Even Thranduil had to admit this was just insane.

"Well," Thranduil said, slowly getting out of his shock. "I never thought I'd hear a woman say those words."

Gimli, even though slightly shocked, seemed to brush it off much easier than Thranduil could. "Aye, but I've see her say and do worse things. This is nothing new for Alex."

That was when Thranduil turned to look at Gimli with a genuine but mischievous smile on his face. "Really now?" he said as he leaned forward on the table, placing his elbows on it and resting his chin on his hands. "Do tell, master dwarf," his grin growing bigger.

"Well, there was this one time, after the Battle of the Hornburg. The bath houses were reserved for the warriors of Rohan, but of course, Alex is a special lass, and she sneaked in…"

_And this is how Alex, through her shameless behaviour, helped a dwarf and an elf king form an unlikely friendship in unlikely and strange circumstances._


	7. WE DID WHAT?

**Hi! So Windy-san will be on vacation for about two weeks and we haven't written anything, so there won't be an update for a while.**

**Probably my favorite chapter after the first one so far XD**

**Chapter 7**

I really don't remember the last time I had gotten this drunk. It wasn't fun getting drunk while I was alone at Gondor, and while being here with the elves I hadn't had yet the chance to drink more than a cup of wine for lunch or diner. So, last night, after the strip poker game, Gimli and I decided we wanted to drink ourselves merry like old times, and Legolas joined us. Gimli wasn't very happy that all they had was wine, but that didn't stop him from drinking anyways. I don't remember much from that night, we drank, we talked, we laughed, and I got piss drunk.

So now I have a major headache and my body feels like it was ran over by a Mumakil or two. I wasn't going to even try to open my eyes, so I just stretched my sore body a bit, turned to the side and snuggled up to the nice, warm body next to me… wait, **WHAT**?! My eyes flew open and the first thing I saw was Legolas' sleeping form beside me. At first I thought it was a dream since, well, it wouldn't be the first time I had this dream with him… anyways, I stared at him for a moment, unable to tell if this was a dream or not, so I reached out a hand and placed it on his nose and pinched him. If it was a dream, he shouldn't really react, but he began to stir and eventually he jerked away and his eyes flung open. Our eyes met and for a second we were both stunned.

"AAAAAAAAHHH!" I screeched and I flung myself away from him, falling off the edge of the bed in the process. I heard Legolas exclaim in a long line of flustered elvish before he peeked over the edge of the bed to where I was. I saw his eyes go hugely wide and he jerked away as if the sight burned him eyes. I looked down on myself and realized I was naked save by the bed sheets that were tangled on my body. I flung up and looked at him and realized he was butt naked as well. He dashed madly for a sheet to cover himself,looking as though his life depnded on being covered with it."LEGOLAS! HOW COULD YOU?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The elf only looked at me with such confused eyes that it would have been comical had I not just realized that I had given away my first time and didn't even know it. "How dare you?!" I screamed again.

"LEGOLAS! HOW COULD YOU?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The elf only looked at me with such confused eyes that it would have been comical had I not just realized that I had given away my first time and didn't even know it. "How dare you?!" I screamed again.

"Alex, please, I-"

"No! No please! You deflowered me! A pure lady!"

I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking "_A pure lady my ass_!" and even though he didn't say anything, I felt more insulted than ever. "Don't you think such thoughts!"

He looked at me a bit shocked and slightly annoyed eyes. "How do you even know what I am thinking?"

"That's not the main problem here! You took advantage of me!" I said, bursting into tears as I picked up the sheets and covered myself as best as I could. I just started to sob miserably, hiding my face in the sheets. I felt slight ruffling on the bed and heard Legolas' frustrated sigh.

"Alex, please, let us think and try to solve this." I didn't even look at him and continued to sob pitifully. "Alex, Alexandra, please, I beg you," he said with the gentlest plead ever. I decided to just look at him since he also sounded desperate and trying to figure things out, and I was hoping he would be able to make things alright. He seemed to brighten up a bit when he saw me look at him and he looked eager to just solve things. "I am sure this is just a misunderstanding. I mean, let us be reasonable! In my right mind I would have never even thought of doing this with you of all people."

"WAAAAAAAAHHH!" I began to just wail and sob like crazy as I picked up the sheets and hid myself in a cocoon as I cried and wailed miserably once more.

The door just swung open and Thranduill burst through.

"Alexandra! What in the Valar's name is happening?!"

I couldn't help myself, I just sat up, looking at him through my tears before I threw myself on him arms. "Oh Thranduil!" I exclaimed, holding the sheets with one hand and Thranduil's robes with the other as I cried into his chest, or stomach, he's so damn tall I couldn't tell what part of him my face was on. "Your son, he, he, he… oh I can't even say it! The horror, I am stained! I have no honor left in my name!"

"You had none to begin with!" Legolas blurted out, clearly speaking faster than his mind could think. He looked like he was internally kicking himself to the pulp for speaking out of frustration and despair, but I was not moved, and neither was his father.

"Legolas! How dare you defile such a respectable young woman?" he said, sounding like thunder. "And my best friend at that!" okay, not so thunderous now, but he was defending his best friend so I was okay with that.

"I would never touch that!" he said, again, looking like he was about to slap himself silly for running his mouth before he could think of his words.

"How dare you call me "_that_" you fucking bastard?! I will kill you!"

I let go of Thranduil, and in my rage I didn't notice I dropped my bed sheet as well. I jumped at Legolas, ready to slap him, but he held both my wrists. His eyes went wide when he realized I wasn't covered and looked away without letting go of my wrists. I was struggling to get free of him when it hit me, the sheets had fallen off and he was naked right in front of me. I couldn't help it, I scanned his body from top to bottom and if nosebleeds were real I would have been dead by now. I could have sworn I could hear my ovaries screaming like crazed teenage fan girls. Legolas looked at me with the corner of his eyes when he noticed I wasn't struggling and he saw me staring at him.

"And what exactly are you looking at, Alex?" he snapped, releasing my wrists and turning around to cover himself from my eyes.

"I-I… I wasn't looking at anything you perverted elf! You are the one who took advantage of my body!" I realized I was no longer covered and ran back to pick up the sheet from the floor, and just in time too since Gimli burst through the open door.

"I heard screaming and wailing! What happened!" he exclaimed, his hands gripping his axe, ready to attack.

Everyone just stopped and stared at him, the awkwardness of the situation multiplying tenfold. Even Thranduil looked a bit uncomfortable with the dwarf's sudden appearance. That was when Gimli saw me wrapped in sheets and Legolas stark naked. The elf quickly retrieved a sheet and covered himself as well. "Oh," he said, putting his axe down and fidgeting a bit with it. "I, uh, didn't realize this was a lover's quarrel." He cleared his throat. "Just when were you two planning to tell me you were a couple?"

"We are not!" I cried out, tears flowing down my face once more as I ran into Thranduil's arms once more. He began to pat my hair gently as he held me close.

"There, there, little one. All will be fine. You see, master dwarf, it seems that my son," he said, sneering at Legolas as he spoke, "in an intoxicated state, took advantage of Alexandra and has dishonored her name."

"You what?!" the dwarf roared, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"I did no such thing!" I saw Legolas look at his father, searching for that fatherly support he so desperately needed right now, but Thranduil simply scolded. "Even my own father abandons me!"

"I will make orc meal out of you!" Gimli shouted, charging at Legolas with his axe at hand.

Legolas jumped from the bed in a graceful and skilful manner that only an elf could manage at a time like this, and he darted out of the room, followed by an enraged dwarf.

I was still sniffing through my ears when Thranduil began to laugh. At first, it was a soft and melodious sound, but then it grew into a full guffaw, which, oddly enough, still sounded melodious. Darn these elves and their perfectness.

"Thranduil! How can you laugh at a time like this? What if I end up pregnant?! What if he comes out like him?! The world doesn't need two Legolas! No offense."

"Oh my dear," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder as he managed to control his laughter. "I am so sorry to have dragged you into this, but you see, I could simply not resist such an exquisite chance to mortify my son in such a way."

"Heh?"

_Flashback from Thranduil's pov_

I could hear all the merrymaking you, my son and the dwarf were making, so I decided to head down to the cellar where you were having your drinking party. When I arrived, you were dancing on the table, singing something about following a paparazzi until he loved you? At any rate, I hardly got to listen because you fell from the table, unconscious. My son was already in a merry state, so picked you up and brought you to your room. When I returned to see how Legolas and Gimli were doing, I found them both passed out on the floor.

"Well, it is not every century I see my son this drunk." I said to myself. Then the idea came to me and I simply could not let it pass. I brought my son to your chamber, removed his clothing and-"

_Interrupt flashback_

"Wait, what?! You undressed me?!"

"Darling no! Of course not! The maid did it," He said, pointing back at the maid who apparently had been on the door the whole time. She smiled a bit sheepishly and apologetically, obviously hating to have been dragged into such a situation.

"Now, hush and do not interrupt me"

_Continue flashback_

As I was saying, I had you both stripped and left you there. Then I returned in the morning and waited for you to awake. I saw the entire thing through the keyhole and waited to go in when things were at their worst point. I was honestly not expecting the dwarf to charge in, but I suppose he did help make the entire thing more believable.

_End of flashback_

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, _wait_!" I said, taking a step back and looking at him dead in the eyes. "You mean to say that you took advantage of my drunken state, made me believe I had sex with your son, all just to prank us?" I said incredulously.

"Well, mostly to prank him, but yes, that is how things went," he said in the most casual tone ever.

"That… that… was BRILLIANT! Why didn't _I_ think of that?!" I said as I stretched my hand to touch his. "I think you and I are soul mates," I said, wiping an imaginary tear from my eye. That was when I heard a stream of curses from Gimli echo through the halls. "Eh, I think you might want to tell the dwarf the whole story, unless you wish to end up with no grandchildren…"

"Oh, do not worry. I will tell him... eventually," he said with a smirk.

"Oh, I like you more every day!" I said, hugging him.

I guess I can understand why he had to do it. I mean, being about three Ages old must be enough time to do everything and anything, so I can't blame him if he got bored and needed to do this. Besides, the way he laughed, so joyfully and honest, it made me happy to see him so honestly happy and amused. It must be hard to find something funny after several thousand years of life. So I'm glad I was able to bring him joy… I should stop now, I'm getting waaay to mushy.

**What do you think? Leave us your thoughts, we always love to read them. Also, still taking suggestions if anyone has any.**


	8. Again, WE DID WHAT?

**oooo sorry for the delay chapter! Windy just returned from her vacations and we quickly got to writing again. Hope you enjoy it!**

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**Chapter 8**

So, you remember how this little story began, with the whole midnight _soirée _fiasco when I fell on glass and had to get a few stitches... That was really about a month after I started living here in Green Wood. For Thranduil, that was just his little _soirée_, or gathering, but I had seen it as a nightclub and called it like that. He was curious when he heard me mention the name and asked me more about the topic. I told him what nightclubs were in Earth and what you did in them and stuff. He looked rather intrigued with the idea, but after that little accident I had that night when Legolas decided to be a party pooper and I ended up falling on glass, we didn't touch the topic again.

So, a few weeks later, there was a knock on my door at around midnight. I was already asleep of course, since in Middle earth I got the habit of going to sleep earlier than I would have back home since there was nothing to keep me entertained at night. I ignored the knock, obviously, but the person insisted over and over until I got pissed off.

"GO AWAY!"

"My lady, please, King Thranduil requested your presence," I heard a female voice say.

"At this hour?!"

"I am sorry. He wishes to see you."

I groaned and got out of bed, grumbling. I opened the door and saw a female elf with a set of clothing on her hands..

"He said he wishes you would wear this."

The look on her eyes told me that whatever I was supposed to wear was not normal. I looked at the clothes and saw a red and gold dress. I was a bit shocked about such stunning colors. I took it and closed the door before the elf had the chance to go in. You open a button in your shirt and walk around like that and you're being immodest, but a stranger can come into your room, undress you and dress you again and that is okay! What the hell?! And with me being the guest of honor in Thranduil's Halls, I have to constantly avoid whichever female elf prepared my bath that evening from helping me bathe! Annoying. Anyways, the thing is, when I put on the dress, I was mildly shocked to discover that the neckline wasn't was high as every other dress I had ever worn. You could hardly see the start of my bosom, but in Middle earth that is down right cleavage. Another shocking discovery was that there was actually a slit on the side on both sides of the skirt. It didn't even reach the knee, but again, we are in Middle earth and I was called a _loose and inappropriate lady _because I popped a button when I was hot.

Anyways, I was still struggling with the strings on my dress when I heard voices outside my room, and without notice, the doors burst open and Thranduil came in, making the most noise I've ever heard an elf do as he moves around. Of course I nearly jumped out of my skin. Living among elves for almost two months makes you accustomed to almost eternal silence.

"What the-"

"Are you ready?!" he asked with the most excited look in his eyes.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. Thranduil had his hair tied back in a high ponytail, which was something I had never seen in an elf before. There were intricate braids that ran on the side of his hair before joining the ponytail. The interesting thing here was that, for the first time, I got to see an elf's neck with nothing to obstruct the view. I don't know about you guys, but I have a _thing _for strong necks, and his was gorgeous! He was wearing a long robe with a flowing tale. But that was not what left me speechless. The robe was bedazzled with a thousand colorful gems. It hurt my eyes to even look at it! And that's not all; Thranduil's collar always had a bit of an opening on the chest, but this time the V neck came so low you could see those beautiful chest muscles flexing beneath every time he breathed! Also, the robe parted at the legs so you could see tight, silver pants underneath. When he strode towards me, his robe flowed so majestically it almost made me squeal!

I noticed the female elf stealing little, shy glances at the King. She blushed every time she caught a bit of his exposed chest and neck and quickly looked away with this look of guilt and shame. At least I understand her why she was like this. It was not every millenium that you got to see so much skin on an elf, and a super hot elf at that! God! I swear, if he wasn't a papa I would have already-

"Alex! Are you ready?" my thoughts were interrupted my thoughts when Thranduil repeated the question.

"Eh, I'm not sure?"

He saw me with my arms behind my dress, still holding the strings.

"Let me help you with that!" he said, grabbing me by the shoulders and turning me over faster than my mind could register. I could tell he was seriously excited for something.

"My Lord!" the female elf from before exclaimed, running over to try to take over Thranduil.

"Oh hush, my dear. She is alright with this. Right, bff?"

"Bff?" the elf asked, not understanding.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said, giving the elf a smile. Of course she was scandalized not only because a man was helping me get dressed, but because that man was the King of all people. I saw the elf frown a little and I think I could see a hint of envy or something, that a _mere peasant _girl had such a bond of friendship with the King that even broke the rules of courtesy and etiquette. But guess what? I don't care! Right now I have more status than her, so ha!

After I was done with my dress and jewelry, Thranduil braided my hair, entwining some golden ribbons into the braid. I didn't know a male could be so talented with braids! When we were done, he led me through the castle, down to the dungeons. At first I thought it was just perhaps a little party like the ones he sometimes made, but as I neared it, I could hear something somewhat similar to Swing music playing. Also, I could see colorful lights coming out from under the door.

"Alright, now, close your eyes," Thranduil told me and he stood behind me and covered my eyes. The doors were opened and the sound of music and lively chatter reached my ears as I stepped in. "Surprise!" he exclaimed as he released my eyes. The first thing that I saw was this HUGE painting of Thranduil, wearing nothing but loin cloth, holding a sword up while he stood on the head of a slain dragon. I didn't know if I should laugh or just gawk at it. I looked up and saw that he had made an actual disco ball… of jewels! No wonder the light was so colorful. He had lanterns around it to create the light that was reflected off it. In the middle there was a dance floor, though the elves didn't seem to sure of how to dance to this new music. It was a hilarious sight really. Just imagine elves awkwardly trying to dance to Swing music. Only a few that had been there the night I thought them how to dance were on the dance floor, trying to match their movements to the music. There was a bar on the back and the smell of Dorwinion wine was potent. The first thing I thought was: how the hell did he get a bunch of uptight elves to come down here. Apparently he can just order his people to come, and a few pints of the famous Dorwinion wine can loosen up the uptight-est of elves. Now the clothing made sense. He was trying to match the description of the clothes I had told him people wore to clubs.

"This is awesome! I mean, for a Middle earth nightclub anyways."

"So, what do we do now?" he asked, still new to what night clubs were.

"We dance and get pissed drunk!"

He shrugged. "Not that different from my usual _soirées_, but alright, let us party!"

"Hell yeah! Bartender, hit me!" I got a cup of wine and drank it in almost one go. That was enough to make me see pink stars on the walls. Thranduil did the same, though he took like three cups in one go… showoff bastard. Anyways, I dragged him to the dance floor. Slowly, I began to slip into this almost trance-like state of haziness and happiness, and the world just blurred into oblivion.

_Legolas' pov_

Father had invited me two days ago to assist tonight to a _nightclub_, something Alex has mentioned quite a few times before. Of course, that is what she called father's last midnight _soireé_, in which quite a few scandalous things happened. So I ignored his invitation and went for a midnight stroll around the Mountain. For some reason, I had not yet considered the fact that my father must have also invited Alex. That made me remember what happened last time. Alex had gotten drunk, was dancing on the bar in a most immodest manner, she would have striped had I not stopped her, and then she fell on glass and hurt herself. Alexandra is a grown woman and can both decide what she does with her life and can take care of herself. Yes, there is no reason for me to be bothered by what happens down there tonight… Then again, she is also very childish, irresponsible, has no concern for those around her, and even for herself sometimes, my father can be just as immature and probably will not take care of her correctly if something happens.

I stopped on my tracks, and slowly, I turned around and looked in direction to the dungeons. Then again, I could simply go verify if everything is alright and… she is probably safe, everything is surely alright in there. Going there is probably a waste of time…

Before I even realized it, I was already in front of the doors to the dungeons. I just stood in front of the doors for a while, contemplating my own idiocy at coming down here. But I was already here, so what did I have to lose? I should have never asked myself that.

I slowly opened the door, and the dreadful sound of what was supposed to be music painfully in my ears. I looked up to see a large ball covered in jewels, and lanterns around it that reflected light on the ball, which then reflected it around the room in different colors. The stench of alcohol was overwhelming. I began to scan the room, though all I could see was a large number of elves, swaying in a drunken state to the rhythm of the music. As I made my way through the dungeon, two drunk elves tripped as they danced and collided with me, making me lose my footing for a moment and stumble to the side. My hands reached the wall for support. It was then that I realized that this was not a wall, but a large canvas. I looked up to see my father, painted into the canvas, wearing nothing but loincloth, wielding a sword as he stood on the head of a slain dragon. I could only stare at it, my fingers curling on the surface of the canvas, scratching it. I could only repress the urge to rip it to shreds.

I knew this was a bad idea. I wanted to find Alexandra and just leave as soon as possible. I continued my search until I decided that searching from higher grounds would be better. I found a table and stood on it and scanned the room. I spotted my father, Alex and a group of elves sitting on the floor in a circle. Innocent enough, I believe. I sharpened my ears to hear above the music and listen to their conversation. At first there was only boisterous laughter, and by the way they moved and spoke, it was obvious that they were drunk, just as everyone else in this place. A male elf, whom I recognized as Amarthan, had his turn to speak once everyone had stopped laughing.

"Truth or dare, Alex?"

Alex laughed, quite giddily, before answering, "Dare."

"Alright, I dare you… to kiss the King!"

I felt the blood drain out of me. She would not, I was sure, they could not be this drunk. I saw Alex gasp and laugh. "I can't do that!" I sighed in relief. At least she was not yet so out of it.

"Oh, come one, Alex!" the elves began to say. "You said so yourself, the rules are that you must follow whichever dare you receive!"

"Yes, come on," I saw my father say and once more I felt myself go cold. "Do not tell me you are afraid, Alex. Though I can understand. I too would be scared if I had to kiss someone as me. 'Tis no easy a thing to take in the majesty that is me." Indeed, he was utterly intoxicated. "But you know," he said, with a smirk, "the chance to kiss a King is one in an era."

Alex puffed out her chest. "I'mmm not *hic* scawed! Who sssaid I wass scawed?" she said, slurring her words in her drunken state.

"Then complete the challenge!" an elf urged.

"Fine! You isss hooot! Imma gonna *hic* kiss zah elf!"

I felt my heart stop in my chest at that moment. I saw as she crawled to over to my father and I shouted her name, but she could not hear me over the loud crowd and music. I jumped off the table just as she grabbed my father's tunic by the collar and pulled him down. I could feel my heart beating so hard I felt it would break through.

I saw my father placed a hand on her shoulder as she leaned up, smiling giddily as they stared at each other. I did not bother to excuse myself and simply pushed every elf out of the way as I ran, but even that… was not enough. I saw their eyes close as Alex's lips connected with my father's and pressed to them. I could only hope that they would simply keep their lips closed until I got there. Thankfully, that was the case. I arrived at the circle, pushed away the elf that was beside my father, and grabbed my father's ponytail and pulled him away from Alex, making them break the kiss. I did not stop there, I pulled him further away, forcing him to sit on his knees so he would not dangle. My father yelped as he I yanked him by the hair.

"Who dares assault the King?!" he looked up, ready to admonish whoever had attacked him. Instead, his face drained of color and his lips seemed to seal in a tense line.

"Excuse me, father. May I take Alex with me for a moment?"

He smiled, nervously, and even laughed, though it sounded like almost a whimper.

"B-b-ut of course, L-Legolas…" he turned, grabbed Alex and nearly shoved her at me. "Here! Take her! She is all yours!"

"Thank you," I said, with a sweet smile that made my father scooch away in terror. I released his hair, picked up Alex and walked away. Then I stopped and looked back with the most threatening smile I had ever given anything or anyone. "And this is not over. When I get back, you are getting a flogging."

My father shrunk back with a yelp, tears filling his eyes. As I exited and closed the doors, I heard my father cry a long and painful "Nooooo! Not the flogging again!" I could not help to laugh to myself, delighting too much in his reaction.

_Alex's pov_

I wasn't sure of what was happening. My mind was foggy and the memories were not really very easy to puzzle together. Was I really kissing the King? Nah, I must be insane to do something like that. So right now I can't really pinpoint what is going on around me. I'm not sure if my mind is spinning or I'm actually moving around. The sound of music began to die down until I couldn't hear it. My mind sort of began to clear and I was able to realize that I was being carried by Legolas. He was strutting quite fast, his face fixed ahead with a stern glare. I honestly couldn't imagine what was happening. I was about to ask him, but as soon as I opened my mouth, I felt everything in my stomach try to come out. My hands flew to my mouth and I made a gagging sound. Legolas heard me and must have realized I was about to puke, because in a few minutes we were in the kitchens and he had made something for my nauseas.

"Thanks," I said as I drank the stuff. "So, what's up?"

The look he gave me made me think I had insulted his mother or something.

"Eh, Legolas?"

I saw him as he shut his eyes close and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You are unbelievable! I cannot believe that you and my father did that!"

"Did what?" I asked, honestly having no idea what he meant.

"You… you kis-... you kiss-... and my father of all people!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

I was silent as I tried to make sense. Kiss? Me? Kiss Thranduil? So I actually kissed Thranduil?! I instantly sobered up at that.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! You mean, I kissed your father?!" I asked, surprising even myself at how horrified I was at that. "I KISSED HIM?! No! No! No! This is not right!" I looked at him with a look of horror. "You're joking, right?! This is all a joke, a lesson to get me not to drink? Yes? Legolas?"

It seemed that my panicked state convinced him that I had really no recollection of doing this, and that those actions had been done when I was not in my right mind. He simply stared at me, his glare still stern.

"I am sorry to inform you that you have indeed kissed my father," he said in a dry tone.

"B-but why? No! He's my best friend! I don't like him that way! I like y-" I choked on my own words so hard that I started to cough. Damn it! I hate this state of half drunk half sober! I get too rash and say things before I think! I simply covered my mouth and pulled back and stared at Legolas. I saw his eyes widen a little in surprise and his fists tighten at his sides. He just stared at me and suddenly he had this look of determination. Suddenly, he begins to stroll quickly towards me. I got startled and back up until I hit the wall and "eep-ed" a little as he stopped, millimeters away from me. I just stared up at him as he stared down at me. His hands came up to rest on the wall on either side of me.

"Wha-" but my voice died when I saw the conflict of emotions that reflected in his eyes.

His face was just inches away from mine. Slowly, I saw him inch closer, hesitantly. _What is he going to do? _His mouth came so close to my that I could feel his breath on my lips. All the while, we never broke eye contact. I felt one of his hands ever so slightly cup my cheek and I gasped, my eyes widening in surprise. My heart skipped a beat and my breath shortened. This was so unreal that I could not tell if I was drunk or not. Our eyes were still glued together as he continued to inch closer. He was going to kiss me. Legolas was actually going to kiss _me_! This is it! This is the moment! I closed my eyes as I felt our breaths mingle together and just waited for his lips to meet mine. And I did feel his lips… on my cheek… I opened my eyes to see Legolas already turning around and just walking away, leaving me high and dry. I just stared at the back of his head as he disappeared outside the kitchen. I stood there for a few seconds, letting everything just sink in. Then I just slid down the wall and sunk to the floor, flabbergasted.

"What? That's it?" I simply couldn't compute what the hell had just happened. "That bastard son of a half troll…"

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**So, this is for those of you who were asking for some Thranduil/Alex sexiness, since it seems some of you ship them together, which for us is awesome, even though that is not pur pairing.**

**Windy-san says that I really need to get my emotions in check when we write these sort of thing, cuz every time something sort of romantic happens I just start squealing and going nuts. Again, sorry for the delay. Windy is back and we will be updating faster now.**

**Reviews are wonderful, we love them ^_^**


	9. The traveling begins! again

**Hi! So there's some trivia at the end of this chapter. It's not mandatory, of course, but it would be nice if you read it, since it will explain some very important things, like Alex's immortal stage and other details that will make it easier to understand things :D**

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**Chapter nine**

I arrived to Middle earth two novembers ago, which means, I've been here for two years. I've been in Greenwood for two and a half months, and, well, I kind of need a breather from these elves, but mostly from Legolas. After last week's whole kissing fiasco, I really felt like I needed some space to clear my mind. So I decided to make like a hobbit and go on an adventure! Cuz apparently hobbits seem to be the ones going around on adventures all the time here. Also, since I've been living in Middle earth for two years now, it would be a good idea to become a true Middle earthian and travel like they do!

I told Thranduil of my plans, and although he wasn't very happy that I'd be gone for some time, he let me go, since anyways I'm immortal and time really doesn't mean much for both of us. Then I decided to tell Legolas, but he wasn't really supportive of it…

"_Why would you want to travel?"_

"_I told you, to become a true Middle earthian!"_

"_And that requires for you to travel?" he said, raising an eyebrow._

"_Well that's what everybody does, right? You travel! There's really not much more to do than to travel."_

"_Alex, traveling doesn't make you a true Middle earthian."_

"_Oh, what would you know of that?"_

"_Oh, I do not know. Maybe because I was _born _in Middle earth I should know such things?"_

_I rolled my eyes. "Pish posh, anyways, I'll be leaving tomorrow. So this is goodbye for now, I guess."_

"_Wait, you are going alone?" he asked, not hiding his surprise._

"_Of course I'm going alone! I'm a mature, independent woman."_

"_Independant, yes. Mature? I am not quite so certain about that one."_

"_Hey! I can take care of myself! I fought orcs, and goblins and one time, I even squashed a spider for Frodo. I _**_squashed _**_a spider for Frodo! Do you know how disgusting that was? But I went through it because Frodo had said it was poisonous. I saved the Ring bearer's life! I'm a strong, mature woman, and there's nothing you can say about that."_

"_What about that time with the spiders outside of the palace?"_

"_Those were huge spiders!"_

"_Alright. What about that time when you had a snake in your boot?"_

"_That thing was huge!"_

"_It was not, Alex. It was a milk snake."_

"_How was I supposed to know that?! What if it was poisonous, huh? What if it bit me to death, huh?!"_

"_It was a _milk _snake, Alex."_

"_Well, I'm not some tree hugging, nature freak to know every species of snake!"_

"_Fine. What about that time you got lost for the entire night in the forest while going to do your business?"_

"_It was nighttime. It was dark! I couldn't really see where I was going! That's why we have GPS's in Earth!"_

"_Alright. Then what can you say about the time when we followed Aragorn through the pass in Dunharrow and you-"_

"_Shut up! You swore you would never speak of it again! We were trapped in a cave full of murderous ghosts! I was scared out of my fucking mind and and wasn't thinking, and- and anyways, this hasn't got anything to do with traveling alone. I've learned! I can take care of myself now!"_

"Bah! What does he know? I'm going to travel and I'll prove to him that I can do it alone. You'll see, I'll wipe that smug look off his face," I said, as I saddled my horse while preparing for my journey. I had everything I could need for a travel from here to Rivendell, according to Thranduil. I had food, a blanket, warm clothes since it's november and it's getting quite cold, somewhere to store water, and my weapons. I still have Galadriel's daggers and my sword. I added a bow since I had enough time to practice using it while I was in Greenwood. And I'm proud to say that I got quite good at it.

I was done packing, I had said my goodbyes to Thranduil and was off. It was nice to get out of the caves and get some sunlight. I took a deep breath and smiled at the sky.

"Hah, let the adventure begin!" I exclaimed as I grinned as I looked out into the open path and I could not help but to throw my fist in the air as I urged my horse forward. "Yes! I can feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins! I will do this and there's nothing that can ruin this-"

My little monologue was rudely interrupted when I heard galloping behind me and a very recognizable and annoying voice call my name.

"Alex!"

"Way to ruin the moment, Legolas! What the heck do you want?!"

Legolas rode to my side and gave me a questioning look. "What do you mean? I am coming with you, of course."

"No you're not! I specifically told you I wanted to be _alone_! As in, just me! One person, not two! One, me, alone! Comprende?"

He just gave me a confused look, but ignored that last word. "Oh, I know you said you wanted to be alone, but that doesn't mean I will allow you to go alone, since you can barely take care of yourself."

"Who's the one who went through Moria, the battle with the wargs, Helms Deep, Pelennor Fields and the Gate of Mordor and lived?! I can take care of myself!"

"Alright, but you still need a guide."

"I can get there myself!"

"You cannot even get from here to the edge of the forest now, can you?" he asked, rather exasperated.

"I- I… uh…"

"And say that you did, do you know how to get to the High Pass? Did you even know you had to go through Caradhras? Or were you perhaps planning on taking the long way round down to the Westfold to the North-South Road and then all the way up to Rivendell? That should take you, perhaps, a month or two, considering your poor sense of direction, I would not bet less than two months."

I simply stared at him angrily for a while, knowing that he was completely right, and I could not be more wrong, which pissed me off like hell. In the end, there was no way around it, I needed his help.

"Fine! You can come. But, this," I said, drawing an imaginary line in the air between him and I, "is my personal space. You _do not_ go into my personal space. Got it? Good. Let's role," and before he could even answer, I urged my horse forward and galloped away, still fuming about his intrusion.

So, one of the main reasons why I decided to take this journey was to have some space from Legolas. But the stupid idiot just had to follow me! Now how am I supposed to relax? He's right behind me! How can I relax and clear my mind when the object of all my confusion is right behind me!

For the past eight nights he has taken full night shifts cuz, apparently elves can go days without sleeping and just using that strange elven dream thingy where he can be awake but resting his mind and stuff, but in the end, he did need some sleep, and now, he's just there, sleeping, three feet away from me, and I'm getting such conflicting emotions that I don't know whether I should jump and shag him or just kill him! I mean, he makes me so confused! I like him, but I hate him. I wanna kiss him and I wanna freaking strangle him. This is so weird! I've never felt this way before! I'm like a freaking thirteen year old girl.

I just stared at him, and his sleeping form looked so relaxed. His hair was draped in a golden curtain, falling around him in a golden aureola. His body was so strong, yet lean and looked so relaxed, his breathing was so soft, his chest rose with each, soft breath, almost hand rested delicately, on on his chest and the other on the ground. They looked so soft, so delicate, just like when he touched my cheek that night… God that idiot, I want to kill him! Needles to say, I didn't really get any sleep that night, even when Legolas woke up in the early hours to allow me some rest. That stupid, thoughtful gentleman and his stupid caring nature...

Finally, after eleven days of traveling, we arrived to Rivendell. I was so glad to finally see more people. The first to ride out to greet us were Elrond's twins. I had made some nice bonds with them before I was forced to leave with the Fellowship, especially with Elladan. The two tended to have more of a playful nature. Soon, a few of the elves that had actually befriended me came to greet us as we entered the heaven. There were also some sour faces when we arrived, though they were really pointed at me and not Legolas. One of them was Erestor. I can't really blame him, I did spitball in his hair once,

and threw all his papers when I collided with him while running away from Gandalf, among others things.

Finally, Lord Elrond came out. He had a smile as he gracefully seemed to flow down the stairs towards us.

"Welcome to Rivendell, Legolas Thranduilion and Alexandra. It is good to have you with us."

Elrond gave Legolas exchanged curt nods, and Legolas just started talking to him in elvish. I got annoyed to be left out of the conversation, so as soon as he was done, I just poked my head from behind him. "Hiya, Rondy!" I exclaimed.

The look on his face, how he suddenly lost his composure for a split second, was priceless. It was as if some big, horrible secret had just been revealed. He quickly recovered his composure, however, and greeted me properly. But his two sons had a momentary coughing fit that looked much more like they were trying to hold in was not until that night when Elladan and Elrohir approached me and told me that 'Rondy' had been a nickname that their mother used to tease him with, and he had always hated it and did not like it when he was called that at all, especially not in public, because his closer friends would tease him to no end.

Ha, the little devil in me is really going to have fun torturing dear 'ol _Rondy _while I'm in Rivendell.

* * *

**Trivia time!**

**First, for Alex's age. She came to Middle earth for the first time around November, and then left with the Fellowship in December, only to die at the beginning of August before the breaking of the Fellowship, and come back as an immortal, frozen in time. Her birthday is on November 26, which means that she turned twenty while being in Rivendell, and now she is frozen in that age, both in mental and physical state. So she will forever be twenty, although at the moment she is supposed to be twenty one, almost twenty two.**

**Now on elven sleep.**

**Elven sleep- it is very debatable on what are elve's sleep patterns. Some believe that they do not sleep, others that they need not as much sleep as humans. Here is a quote from the book that helps me understand:**

"**Legolas took a deep breath, like one that drinks a great draught after long thirst in barren places. 'Ah! the green smell!' he said. 'It is better than much sleep. Let us run!'" (TTT, Book III, Chapter2)**

**This implies that Legolas has indeed slept, otherwise he could not say that it is better than something he does not know.**

"**They passed a door through which the chief guard and the butler could be seen still happily snoring with smiles upon their faces. The wine of Dorwinion brings deep and pleasant dreams." (Hobbit, Chapter IX)**

**Here elves did fall asleep after getting drunk with wine, which mean that elves do get drunk, something useful to know in fanfiction, and they indeed can sleep.**

"**There Beren, being torn between his oath and his love, and knowing Lúthien to be now safe, arose one morning before the sun, and committed her to the care of Huan; then in great anguish he departed while she yet slept upon the grass." (Silmarillion, 'Of Beren and Lúthien')**

**I'm quoting directly from Gothmog, a user in The Tolkien Forum in which I went to investigate about elven sleep:**

"**and he could sleep, if sleep it could be called by Men, resting his mind in the strange paths of elvish dreams, even as he walked open-eyed ing the light of this world.**

**The Two Towers: The Riders of Rohan : page 31"**

**Legolas already lay motionless, his fair hands folded upon his breast, his eyes un-closed, blending living night and deep dream, as is the way with Elves.**

**The Two Towers: The Riders of Rohan : page 49**

**To me this suggests that the Elves have different needs to Men in sleep. In the first quote it seems that Legolas can rest his mind even while marching along and so can be more alert when needed. However, the second quote shows that Elves do also need to rest their bodies as well as their minds to gain the greatest recovery possible. The point of his eyes being 'un-closed' seems to show that they would not go as deeply into sleep as Men. This would be more like the Meditation that some do. This can give a great deal of rest in a short time.**

**Taking all of this in consideration, I believe that elves do need to sleep, but less than humans. They can also have the trance like sleep, which helps them rest their minds and somehow their bodies as well, but in the end they do need normal sleep, just not as much as humans. If they do not sleep for a long time, then they can be affected.**

**Distance: So I spent a looong time reading over several texts in order to know the distance from one place to the other, how many miles and about how long it took Tolkien's characters to get there. Then I tried to do the math including horses and tried to be as true to the time and distance as possible. Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli ran 99 miles in three days, the road from Bree to Rivendell were approximately 323 miles. Looking at the map, it seems that it's about as far from Greenwood and Add horses, how fast and for how long they can run (and it always seems that Tolkien's horses run just a bit faster than our horses because the distances they covered in the books do not seem possible in the real world, taking the example of the Three hunters and Gandalf who covered over 70 miles in one day) and just go crazy trying to figure it all out. So, looking at the map, comparing apparent distances, reading maps with mileage and considering the horses (and the fact that Tolkien seemed to make his characters travel quite some distances in a short time) I think that the time it would take Alex and Legolas to go from Eryn Lasgalen to Rivendell would be around eleven days.**


	10. So we're lovers now?

**Hi all! We would like to thank all of you lovely readers who support us. This fic really means a lot to Windy and I, it's our baby, Alex is our little, bratty baby XD So thanks to all of you who read, favorite, follow and/or review!**

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**Chapter 10**

Legolas and I spent three days in Rivendell while we rested and got supplies for our journey to the Shire. It was a seven day ride to reach Hobbiton. My first mission was simple; I had been craving lately for normal food. you know? Hot dog, pizza, spaghetti, hamburger, cheesedog! Normal food! Since apparently I was going to be stuck in Middle earth forever, I wanted to make this world a favor and introduce these wonderful dishes. For that, I need a chef that is willing to make greasy, fattening, delicious food, which means, elves are discarded. So who better to do this than Sam? He really did his best to keep the meals tasty and appetizing while we were traveling, so if he could make such good food from scratch, I'm sure that with his excellent cooking skills and everything I learned in Home Ec, we can surely make all sorts of awesome food together!

Legolas decided that he wanted to visit "_The Ring Bearer_" as he still insists on calling Frodo, so I headed straight to Sam's house, which took me about an hour to find since there's a ton of criss crossing roads and all houses look that same! Finally, I found the sign that read "Sam Gamgee" and I knocked.

"In a moment!" I heard him shout from the inside. Soon, the sound of the lock being undone reached my ears and the door swung open.

"Morni-" he cut off when he realized that he was looking at someone's midriff instead of their face, and he looked up.

"Hi, Sam. Long time no see!" I exclaimed in the happiest way ever. I really was super glad to see him, despite having had our differences in the journey. "So, how ar-" but I was cut off when Sam literally slammed the door in my face. "Hey! Sam, what the fuck?! It's me, Alex! Don't you remember?" I yelled.

"That's exactly why I'm not opening," I heard him say from the inside.

"What?! Sam!" I said, grabbing the doorknob right before he could lock it. He immediately started pushing from the inside, and I from the outside. "Hey! Open up! Open up you stupid hobbit!" I continued to push, but either Sam was freaking strong, or I was getting weak.

"No! Go away!" he shouted.

"Sam! Open!"

"Sweetheart, is everything alright?" I heard an unfamiliar female voice say from the inside.

"Yes, Rosie," he said in a strained voice. "Just pests."

"Pests?! How dare you! Open up!"

"Honey, who is that?" this Rosie asked.

"Nothing, nothing."

It was then that I managed to give the door a good push. I fell on my face, and Sam was thrown back and crashed against a little table.

"Ow," I moaned.

"Oh dear! Are you alright?" the woman said.

I looked up and saw a pretty little hobbit helping Sam up. She had such pretty golden lock, nice, round cheeks with a cute, natural, rosy blush.

"Oh, who's this?" I asked Sam.

He rubbed his head, scowling a bit. "This is my wife, Rosie Cotton."

"Oh! I didn't know you got married! And she's a real cutie! Congratulations!"

Rosie blushed a little and put her hands to her cheeks with a wide smile.

"Oh, thank you! You're such a sweetheart," Rosie said as she moved to help me up. "Sam, why wouldn't you let this nice, young lady inside?"

"Nice?! She's not nice at all!"

"Now, Sam! Don't be rude to our guest. Come in, sweetheart. Would you like some sponge cake? We were just about to have our midday snack."

"Oh, that sounds nice. I'd love to."

"But…" Sam said, more to himself than to us.

"Come one, Sam, cheer up!" I exclaimed. "I came here to visit you!"

Sam rolled his eyes a little but attempted to lessen his scowl as he followed us to the dining are. After we had our little tea time, I explained to Sam what I wanted to do. At first he was a little iffy about it, but Rosie really liked the idea. I could tell that this girl and I would really get along wonderfully. After she convinced Sam to do it, we decided to make pizza first, cuz I was really going crazy for some. After listing the things we would need, Sam asked me to go down to the market to get some ingredients that we were lacking.

I went with a merry skip, happy that I was finally going to eat pizza after two years. I gathered everything I needed and was about to head back, when I heard someone yelling my name. I turned around just as someone collided with me and wrapped his arms around my midriff.

"Alex! You came back for me! I-I mean, to visit us, yes?"

"Pippin? Oh… oh, Pippin, what a pleasant surprise," I said with a nervous laugh. "Ah, yes, I did come to visit _all _of you."

"That's great! Do you have a place to stay? You can stay over at my place!" he said with a most happy expression.

"Oh, how nice of you, but… I'm staying with Rosie and Sam! Yeah, she already accommodated me there, so it would be rude to reject her hospitality". I said, subtly trying to gt his arms off me.

"Oh," he said, sounding disappointed. "Well, no problem. Actually, I'm very glad you came. I've missed you so much!"

"Oh- that's, eh…" this was so awkward for me I didn't even know what to say!

"So, um," he said, blushing a little. "Now that the quest is over and we have time to relax, would you like to have a date with me?"

Imagine getting K.O. from a professional boxer, that's how I felt. For one part, he was just so adorable, liking me so much and his eyes were just begging me to accept his offer, but on the other hand, he's a hobbit! He's at least two feet shorter than me! Not that I have anything against short people, but to me, this all seems sort of illegal somehow. And, I really just don't feel that way for the little guy. But I didn't want to just say no and break his little hobbit heart. I was starting to break into a cold sweat.

"Aw, Pip, that's so sweet of you, and I'm really flattered, but uh, I'm- I'm actually dating someone… already."

"What?! Really?" he asked, his eyes widening.

"Yeah! We've been dating for a while now," I said, lying through my teeth.

"Really? Who is it?"

"Wh-who, who is it?" I stuttered. "He's, uh, he's, he's a guy… with, uh, nice hair, and uh, a face! A very nice face!"

"What's his name?" he insisted, not that it looked as if he didn't believe me- incredibly- but he seemed to actually want to know who this _guy _was.

"His name? Ah, well, his name is…" as if by fate, Legolas came walking by on that very instant. He saw us and saw Pippin and came over to greet him, so I took my chance. My body reacted faster than my mind could compute. I reached for Legolas and just wrapped my arms around one of his and pulled him to me as I cuddled to him. "Legolas! His name is Legolas!"

"What?!" Pippin exclaimed.

"What is going on?" Legolas asked.

I was internally roundhouse kicking my sorry ass for doing such a stupid thing, but I had no choice, so I just forced a wide smile and continued.

"Yes! Legolas and I are lovers!"

"We are what?!" Legolas asked, his face shooting to look at me.

I immediately pinched his side as hard as I could, feeling him jolt slightly.

"Yes, we are so in love it's crazy! Right, Legolas?" I said, giving him the sweetest smile ever while crying on the inside. He just gave me a '_what the hell is going on_' look, but just stayed quiet, so I pinched him again.

"Ah, yes, we are doing this," Legolas said, reluctantly, then he leaned to whisper in my ear. "Exactly what are we doing?"

"Play along!" I hissed back.

"Legolas? But you two hate each other!"

"Pffft, no we don't!" I said in what must have sounded like a really pathetic attempt at sounding honest. "We **love **each other! Right, sweetheart?"

"Of course we do," he said, managing to sound more believable than me.

"But, you two would have the worst arguments ever all the time!"

"Oh that? That was just… just, eh, what was it, Legolas?"

"Mutual disagreement?" he mumbled sourly. I gave him a really nasty pinch on the side again and I was sure that it would bruise. "I mean, we were, hiding our _love_," he said, sort of growling that last word as he gave me a slight side glare. Internally, I was thinking '_Oh shit, I'm so gonna get it later.'_

"Yeah, yeah, hiding our love! You see, it would have brought problems to the Fellowship had they known. You know, two lovers working together in the middle of a battle for the world is a distraction, so we decided to put up that little facade to hide our love."

"I can't believe this," Pippin said in a breath.

"I cannot believe it either," Legolas said, receiving another harsh pinch on the arm from me. He lowered his face to whisper into my ear. "If you pinch me one more time, I swear you will wake up in the river tonight."

I laughed rather nervously. I knew not to underestimate his wrath. "Haha, you kidder you!" I said as I continued to laugh while patting his shoulder, while I unconsciously rubbed at the sore area, trying to ease away the threat. I realized what I was doing when I felt his muscles flinch beneath my touch, and I know my face must have gone red when I realized it. I didn't want to look I at his face right now, so I just yanked my hand away, awkwardly laughing, and praying that the ground just opened up and swallowed me.

Pippin just stared at us for a moment. It seemed that he wasn't truly convinced of it all.

"Prove it then," he said.

"What?" Legolas and I asked in unison, trying to keep the panic out of our face and voice.

"You heard me. Prove it, if you're so in love, then it should not be a problem."

The demon inside of me snapped and I almost jumped at his throat. '_That little bastard!' _

"Wh- ah, well, you see, that is not such a good idea," I said, stuttering. Maybe had it been anyone else, I would have already kissed him, but this is Legolas, _Legolas_! He might have you fooled with that oh so wonderful, perfect male act, but he is vicious, vicious I tell you! I was about to crumble, when I hear Legolas start to talk in a very cool and stoic manner.

"Pippin, I do not think that there is any need for Alex and I to prove our love."

I was surprised that he had started acting on his own without the need of me initiating it. '_Yes! I'm safe!'_

"Besides, it is a really rude thing to ask. And it is not proper to do such things in public."

"Hm," Pippin said. "Well, I do not believe you. I simply don't," he said, sounding a bit angry.

I wanted to cry. I didn't want to hurt Pip, and this was clearly hurting him. I was about to just drop on my knees and sob like a baby, when Legolas' voice brought me back.

"Alright then, just to clear Alexandra's honor."

My head snapped up to him as I gave him a confused look. That gave him the chance to pull me closer and press a kiss to my forehead. I just stood stone-still for a moment as he lingered. Then he pulled away and looked at Pippin.

"Are you satisfied, master hobbit?'

"I… I… I can't believe it!" Pippin exclaimed, looking angry. "You took _my _woman!"

"Your what?!" I asked, shocked at his words and for a moment having a distraction from what had just happened.

Pippin rolled up the sleeves from his shirt and got into a fighting position. "Arm yourself and fight me for the love of lady Alex!"

Okay, now I was shocked.

"I rather not," Legolas muttered for only me to hear as he scrunched his face in disgust. I really just wanted to punch him in the gut.

Okay, this was really getting out of hand. I had to stop this cuz I really didn't want Pippin to hurt himself. He was already jumping on his toesies from side to side, throwing little punches in the air. I just jumped in between them and held Pippin.

"Come on, now, there's no need to fight for me! No, really, there's no need."

"No! I shall fight this filthy scoundrel for your love and honor!"

I saw Legolas' eyebrow twitch in annoyance. '_Oh shit! He's really going to hit him if this continues!'_

"Pip! Please, listen. I'm so sorry, you're the best hobbit ever and I'm really flattered that you like me so much, but," I walked over and took Legolas' hand in mine, "we're in love! And one does not simply chooses who to love, love chooses you." Again, internally kicking myself.

I saw how Pip's anger started to die down, and a bit of sadness seemed to wash over him as he bowed his head a little.

"Oh… that's alright, I suppose. I mean," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I suppose that if you're happy, then that's all that matters." He cleared his throat and looked at Legolas. "And you, you best know how to treat Alex like a queen. She deserves no less. Got it? I'll be watching you two closely!"

Legolas just forced a smile to his face. "Of course I will," he said as he tightened his grip on my hand a little too hard. Of course, I couldn't give it away or this would start all over again.

"Aw, thanks Pip. You're the best. How about you come over to Sam's later. We're making new food that you've never tasted!"

Pippin seemed to brighten up a little. He gave a small smile. "Yes, that would be nice."

"And you can bring Merry over as well."

"Alright, I'll go get him then." He started to walk past us, but stopped to glare at Legolas one more time before he left completely.

When he was gone, the two of us let go of each other's hand as if it was poisonous. Legolas just bent once more to whisper at my ear.

"If you ever pull a stunt like that again, you _will _wake up in the river," he whispered, murderously.

I couldn't find my voice at that moment, so I simply nodded really quickly. I had to make sure to stay in the public eye for a while.

"Come now," Legolas said. "Apparently, we have a diner to go to."

I just walked in silence and he followed. I could hear him mumbling in elvish, and after a while, it really pissed me off. Sure, this was mostly my fault, but I didn't want to hurt Pippin. So, being the ever patient and collected woman that I am, **not**, I just snapped at him.

"You know, this is really not as bad as you make it sound! I just wanted to protect Pip's feelings and you're making me feel as if I had done something horrible!"

"If you just thoughts things through, we would not be in this mess!" he snapped back.

"Well I'm sorry for panicking! I just wanted to protect a friend!"

"So you sacrifice me instead?"

"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't know that it was such a _sacrifice _to pretend that you love me!"

Well, there goes my peace and tranquility I was looking for when I decided to leave Greenwood.

"This is why I wanted to just come alone!"

"By this you mean?"

"You! You're so annoying and mean! I wanted peace from you!"

"So I am the one who takes away your peace?"

"Well, you sure don't give me any!"

"As if it was so easy to have peace when I'm around you!"

"Then why the fuck did you follow me here?!"

Legolas opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again.

"I-"

"Hey guys!" we heard Merry's voice and instantly, Legolas and I snapped together like magnets, holding onto each other's hand. Pippin was close behind him.

We ended up having to walk hand in hand to Sam's house, and once we got there, things just got worse. So far, no one had mentioned the lover's topic, so Sam and Rosie still didn't know. But the Universe seemed to love messing with us, cuz Frodo arrived, and Merry was the first to greet him.

"Hey, Frodo! Did you know that Legolas and Alex are together now?"

Frodo, whom I had yet to even salute yet, just stared at us in disbelief.

"Oh, really? You made no mention of this, Legolas."

"They're together?!" Sam asked from the kitchen.

'_Just fucking great!'_

"Hehe, yeah, we are together…" I said, still holding Legolas' hand. "Couple, lovers, haha…" I groaned internally. '_Oh God, I'm so going to end up in that river tonight.' _

Let's just say that diner wasn't very fun. Legolas just kept glaring at me every time I got too close, and we had to constantly pretend we were all happy and lovey dovey whenever anyone asked about us being together. I didn't even get to enjoy my Middle earth pizza! *internal sobs of misery*

After eating, we were helping clean the kitchen. At one point, I tripped a bit and brushed over Legolas, but that alone set him off. He just hissed at me to be careful and turned away so brusquely that he did not notice Merry before the hobbit walked into him, making him spill the bowl of leftover sauce on my hair.

Apparently, Legolas felt somewhat responsible for that little accident, because he dragged me over to the river and helped me wash my hair off. It was the nighttime, but the moon was full and the stars bright, so we could see quite well. After removing all the sauce, we just sat by the river bank in silence as he combed my hair with his fingers and then started to braid it.

I heard Legolas sighed softly, almost tiredly. "I am sorry," I heard him say, quietly, almost to himself. I just stayed quiet, not really sure if he was talking to me. "I never should have said those things to you. It was uncalled for."

I was just pouting a bit. But after hearing that, I really just gave up. "I'm sorry too. I never should have done that. I just panicked! I really care for Pippin and didn't want to hurt his feelings."

I waited for a reply, but after a while, I thought that he really wasn't going to say anything.

"I understand. You were only protecting your friends. It was the noble thing to do."

"You actually agree with me?!" I asked, trying to put a bit of humor in my voice. "It feels nice to hear you agree with me for once."

Legolas chuckled a bit. "Well, do not get too used to it."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Who else will entertain me with pointless fights and discussions if not you?"

"Indeed."

We both just chuckled, and just spent the rest of the night in silence, together under the stars. Yeah, this might not be such a bad day after all.

I heard Legolas sigh again.

"What is it?"

"You do know that Pippin is watching us from that tree?"

I sighed as well. "Yup, I know."

"Keep those hands where I can see them, elf!" Pip shouted from between the branches.

Legolas and I just laughed. I felt Legolas raise his hands in the air for a moment.

"Will do, master hobbit."

The two of us you exchanged amused looks before laughing again. Somehow, he always manages to do this; he infuriates me to hell, but then, he makes me laugh, and just feel all mushy and giddy. Fuck him...

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**So, this was a bit of a long chapter, hope you guys didn't mind. But this is not the same as Reasons, where she would just explain a point, here you see her story as she starts her life in Middle earth, so chapters are longer. Review to your heart's content! A simply "Good job" or "Funny" always makes us happy! Also, I personally love it when some of you quote a specific line, because we see what we are doing right! :D So thanks again to all who support us!**


	11. Our first fight

**Windy-san: "Yai! We finished a chapter! And on time too!"**

**Elleth of hidden lore: "... eh, actually, we are not on time. We're actually quite late."**

**Windy-san: "Shut up! We're on time! We're never late!"**

**Elleth of hidden lore: *laughs* "Right... they are going to kill us... again."**

**(Actual conversation XD )**

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**Chapter 11**

"Alright, target is in sight," I said as I crouched behind a bush. I turned back to look at my little army of hobbit children. "You all know what to do. Apple, Peony, you take the left flank, Hagen and Emmon, take the left. Tolodic, you come with me."

"Yes Captain!" all five kids exclaimed as they scurried to their positions.

The six of us carefully sneaked closer to our target, making sure not to be seen. I saw as Peony and Apple reached their position, and gave me a thumbs up. Hagen and Emmon quickly did the same. Tolodic and I crouched lower, since we had to get the closest to our target. Once the bush was too small to hide me, I passed a fire cracker- which Merry and Pippin had stolen from Gandalf the last time he brought some to the Shire (I was amazed they still had some, apparently they took a lot)- and pass it to Tolodic. He didn't need me to say anything and quietly, like only a hobbit can, he moved forward and placed the cracker and brought the cord that connected them back to me.

"Good job!" I said, patting his head. I grabbed the spark rocks and lit the cord. It burned quickly, and three seconds later there was a very loud explosion as the firecrackers continued to crackle under Sam's chair. Said hobbit had given a loud cry of surprise and had jumped off his chair, dancing a little as he tried to get away from the many little explosives that were still going off around him.

"ATTACK!" I exclaimed as I got on my feet.

Immediately, my little hobbit army came out with a battle cry, all five of them with camouflage painted faces, wielding sticks as swords.

"Good Elbereth!" Sam exclaimed when he saw the children, startled by their strange appearance.

The kids began to beat Sam with the sticks, though obviously those little guys don't have enough strength to actually harm him at all, but that distracted him long enough for them to be able to grab him amidst the confusion and throw him down. Between all five of them, they managed to pin him down. That was when I stepped out and grabbed the muffin he had intended to eat.

"Haha! We have acquired our target!" I exclaimed as I raised the muffin in the air. "Oh yeah! Operation _Take Sam's muffin _is a success!"

"Yai!" all kids started cheering.

"Today, we shall reap the reward!"

Immediately I ran over to take a bite out of the prize. I took a large bite and handed the muffin to little Apple who took a bite before passing it to the other kids. Hobbit children share so easily.

"What the twisted horse mane is going on here?!" Sam exclaimed he got up.

Sweet laughter made us all look up to see Rosie, looking at the whole thing while laughing. She went over to help Sam up.

"Hi Rosie!" I called over Sam, most nonchalantly might I add. "What's up?"

"Hello all," she said with a sweet smile.

All the kids ran towards Rosie to hug her and receive a kiss on the forehead from her.

"Rosie, your muffins are still the best!" Tolodic exclaimed.

"Yeah, they are the sweetest!" Peony exclaimed and the hobbits started to praise Rosie's marvelous muffins.

"Thank you, children. You are all so sweet."

"Why are you praising them, Rosie?" Sam asked, clearly upset about what had just happened. "This behavior is not acceptable!"

"Oh come now, Sam, they're just children."

"Well how about her?!" he said, pointing at me.

I grinned broadly. "I'm a child inside!"

Rosie laughed. "Indeed she is, Sam. You should be more like her and let your inner child out more."

"What?! You're actually defending her?"

"Sweetheart, it was only a harmless little prank."

"Harmless? They could have blown my foot off! Where did you get those?" he asked me.

"Merry and Pippin!" I said.

"Of course," he said with a sigh.

"Now, love. You're working yourself up." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Why don't you got get another muffin? And you kids," she said, looking at us, "I have a fresh baked apple pie inside. Go get yourselves a bite."

"Yai!" the kids and I cheered as we ran into the house.

So far, Rosie has been an awesome friend. She always acted like a mama bird me since I got there twenty three days ago. I love the Shire. It's perfect for me! No obnoxious men and women telling me I'm improper and that I should act like a lady, just happy, friendly hobbits and hobbit children that absolutely love me! I'm in paradise! *sigh* Finally, I feel so loved! …. My God this is sad. My only happiness comes from children? I mean, that's not bad, but still, so sad.

Anyways, I was taking a stroll around the Shire. Legolas had left early that morning without telling me. He told Sam that he had received a letter and was going to meet someone and would be back sometime later today. That stupid elf, he follows me for miles and miles cuz he says he can't leave me alone, but as soon as he gets the chance, he leaves me alone! Who can understand him? He makes me so angry… anyway, as I walked along the road, I spotted tall people coming this way from afar. It's weird to see tall people around these areas, so I curiously waited till I could get a better view of whoever was coming. Imagine my surprise when I saw Legolas…. with Thranduil. I went to meet them halfway, and to my bigger surprise, he was quite tipsy, and the guy needs quite a lot of strong wine to get him anywhere near tipsy.

"So, what is he doing here?" I asked Legolas as he set Thranduil against a tree.

"Ask _him_," he said, ruefully. "I need to get him something for his headache, and look for a place for him to stay. I do not think I can bother Frodo anymore, he is already lodging me, and Sam already has his hands full with you. Perhaps Master Meriadoc can home him for a while."

I contemplated those last words, repeating them over until I just had to ask. "Who the heck is _Meriadoc_?"

Legolas looked at me with slight confusion before seemingly understanding. "Master Merry, Alex, Peregrin's cousin."

I stayed quiet for a moment. "Okay, so who the heck is Peregrin?"

Legolas sighed heavily. "Pippin, Alex, it is Pippin."

"Oh… well, no wonder they go by Merry and Pippin. Their names are dreadful!"

I saw the corner of his lips twitch, as if he was about to laugh, but he held it in.

"I will be back shortly. Please, look after him while I am gone."

"Will do!" I exclaimed, saluting him like a soldier.

Legolas left quickly, and I turned to Thranduil, who was moaning on a corner against the tree.

"Hey buddy," I said, keeping my voice down, knowing just how painful hangovers are. "So, what brings you here?"

"Oh, Valar," he moaned. "Where am I?"

"You're in the Shire. Legolas brought you here…"

"Shire? Shire?" he said, thoughtfully, obviously still half drunk. "Is that what you call Hobbiton? I heard that that is where you were going."

"Yeah, that's the place," I said, chuckling.

Just then, a hobbit walked past us. He gave us only a short look, then headed off grumbling something about the Shire being invaded by giants. But before he could get away, Thranduil reached towards him, grabbed him by the back of his shirt and lifted him to eye level.

"Hey! Hey! Let me go!" the little hobbit exclaimed.

Thranduil stared at him, squinting hard as he examined him. "Hm, what is this midget thing? Looks oddly familiar."

I tried to hold my laughter in, though not very well. "That… is a hobbit… Thranduil," I said between small laughs.

"A hobbit? What a curious little creature this is," he said as he turned the hobbit around, back and forth, as he examined him carefully. "Well, I suppose you're not _as _ugly as the dwarves. I think I have seen someone that looks like you before, but I cannot put my finger on it."

Bilbo had already told me, back in Rivendell before he scared the heck out of me that night, about his encounter with Thranduil and how he made all the elves drunk and stuff, so I guessed Thranduil was referring to him.

"Bilbo maybe?"

"Oh yes! I think I remember a little midget called Bilbo."

"Anyways, what brings you here?"

He gave me a look of outrage. "What do you mean 'what brings me here'? You left me me all alone!" he said in a very over dramatic way. "I travel half of Middle earth looking for you and this is how you receive me?!"

"Well, technically, it's not _half _of Middle earth. And I already told you that I wanted to travel alone! You seemed fine when I told you."

"Of course I seemed _fine_. I am a King. I must always look my best! And besides, you allowed Legolas to accompany you. Legolas! Why not me?!"

"I did not exactly invite him either! He butted in on his own accord! I'm not exactly happy about it. I told you guys I wanted to go alone, explore, become a true Middle earthian person!"

"Alex, traveling doesn't make you a true Middle earthian."

I pointed at him with outrage. "Don't same the same things your son says! It's annoying!"

"Well, it is annoying when your best friends leaves you to travel with his son!"

"What? That again? I told you, he **butted in**!"

"I do not know what _butted in_ means, so stop repeating it!"

"That's beside the point, Thranduil!" I exclaimed, really getting irritated. "That's not what I'm trying to say here!"

"Of course that is not what you are trying to say. You are trying to say that you abandoned me for my son! I feel cheated."

"Wh-what the fuck? I didn't abandon you! I told you I was going to leave! And besides, the point of traveling was to get away for a while!"

"Oh, so now you wanted to get away from me?"

"No! You're making things sound bad!"

All through this discussion, we had forgotten about the hobbit that was still dangling from Thranduil's hands, being shaken back and forth with every outburst the elf had.

"Eh, excuse me," the hobbit said.

"What?!" I exclaimed just as Thranduil shouted "_Man_?!"

The hobbit flinched away with big, frightened eyes. "Could you please put me down now?" he said in a small voice.

"Ugh, fine," Thranduil said before unceremoniously let him go. The poor hobbit fell quite a few feet from the ground, so he just laid on the floor for a while as he recovered from the fall.

"Anyways, why are so nagging me so much about it?! I just wanted some time alone!"

"Oh, so you do not wish to spend time with me anymore then?"

"That is not it! God! You're making me sound like I'm the bad guy!"

"Well, maybe if you were nicer to me, I this would not be happening right now!"

"What? You really want to pin this on me? Well fine! I don't need you."

Thranduil gasped. "I am your best friend!"

"Nu uh! Not anymore, I have a new best friend!"

"Oh really? Who is he then?"

"He's- he's him!" I said, grabbing the hobbit from the floor, crouching to wrap an arm around him as best as I could. "That's right, he's my new best friend. We go way back, right… uh…" I looked at him, expectantly.

The hobbit raised an eyebrow. "Reginamond?" he said.

"Really? Eeesh, you and your hobbit names." I said more to myself, "Well, Reginaldo-mon? Ehhh, him, we are way tight, like, we go places together and have fun together and just love to be with each other! So ha! I don't need a best friend who will treat me like you are treating me now!"

Thranduil gasped. "How dare you! I am the best thing that has graced your life! How dare you cheat on me with this lowly, midget, peasant thing!"

"Don't call him that! His name is Digimon!"

"Em," said the hobbit, "it is Reginamond."

"Don't correct me!" I shouted at him. "That's it, I will not take your abuse any longer," I took a deep breath and looked him dead in the eye. "I'm breaking up with you." I said with a pained expression.

Thranduil brought his hands to his mouth and inched back abruptly as he gasped. "You… you are breaking up, with _me_?"

"Yes, I am breaking up with you! This has gone far enough, Thranduil," I said as my eyes start to water, and I bring my hands to my heart in pain. "I am sorry, but I am a free woman, and I cannot be chained by you."

"But, no one breaks up with me. I am a King!"

"I already have. I am sorry, but I already have a new man in my life." I then bent down to pick up Digiregimond in my arms in the most loving way possible and began to walk away. I stopped to look back one last time. "Goodbye!" I said as I walked away with a hobbit in my arms.

"You- you get back here!" Thranduil exclaimed. "You do not turn your back on me! Get back here this instance, Alexandra!"

At that moment, Legolas came walking in the opposite direction of me. He arched a brow as he looked from the hobbit to me and back. I just stopped dead in my tracks with an embarrassed expression.

"Eh, hi, Legolas… How much of that did you hear?"

"I heard enough." He said, then sighed.

We heard a sob and looked back to see Thranduil sobbing hysterically on the floor. Legolas went over to him and started patting him on the back.

"There, there," he said as if he was a child.

"No!" Thranduil shouted, shoving Legolas weakly. "You! You best friend stealer! I will never forgive you!" he said, giving Legolas very weak punches on the chest. I almost laughed, but I wanted to maintain the gloomy mood. "Úpa! Úpa! Úpa!" Thranduil continued to insult him in elvish.

Legolas just gave him a hopeless expressions, like "Oh God, what Am I going to do with you?" and just let him let out his frustration.

_Legolas pov_

After a few minutes of letting my father vent out, he finally calmed down enough to allow me to speak. I looked back at Alex, who was sitting on the side of the road, a few meters away. She had not

yet released the hobbit, and kept hugging him to her while patting his hair as if he was a mere pet, though I could see it was for her own consolation. The hobbit had a permanent scowl and a look that said he was desperate to be released. I looked back at my father and tried to keep a calm and neutral expression.

"Now, father, you should go apologize to Alexandra."

"What? You are taking her side?!" he said with a pout.

"I saw what occurred, and you were very unreasonable. You are still not completely sober and allowed your mouth to run. Now you must apologize for hurting her."

Thranduil pouted. "I am not apologizing! I am a King!"

"Even after you hurt your best friend like this? She drove you away because you could not see that you were harming her feelings with such an unreasonable and illogical discussion."

My father crosses his arms and huffs. He gives her a side glance and finds her looking at him. He just scowls more, and Alex glares back before both of them simply looked away from each other, huffing.

"I am _not _apologizing. She should apologize to _me_!"

"_Ada_," I said in the softest voice, using the most loving way to call him as I kneel beside him. "You do not wish to lose your best friend because of your pride, right? She has made you so happy, she really understands you more than anyone else in Middle earth. Will you throw all of that away just because you wish to be stubborn? She loves you, and you love her. Do not let that love slip away so easily."

At that moment, my father's eyes filled with tears. He looked at Alex, who had this hopeful look about her, and instantly, he began to sob.

"Oh, what have I done?! Alex, I am so sorry!" he said as he stood up. Alex quickly looked at him, her eyes widening. "I never should have said such mean things to you. Please, forgive me!"

"Oh Thranduil!" Alex exclaimed. She then got up, throwing the hobbit off, and ran to my father's embrace while sobbing. "It's okay, I forgive you!"

"No, I should not have been so cruel to you. I do not deserve your forgiveness!"

"I have already given it to you! I love you!"

"I love you too! You are my best friend!"

"I'll never break up with you again!"

I watched as the two continued to cry in joy while embracing each other. I looked back at the hobbit and hastily headed to help him up.

"Thank you, lad. It seems one of you has some decency." He then looked at the pair. "Is he your father?"

"Sadly, he is." I said with annoyance.

"And her?"

"She… she is my… it is very complicated."

"Ah, I see. Well, you really have your hands full."

I sighed heavily. "Indeed I do."

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**Note**

_**Man **_**means what, and **_**úpa**_**, means dumb, though we were aiming more for dummy, but we couldn't find any translation that we could use for any sort of insult that could fit this situation. Now, **_**Ada, **_**is like saying daddy, while **_**adar**_**, is like saying father.**

**Reginamond is a name that I found in a fantasy name generator that has name generators for just about anything in this world you can think of! From people, races, both real and mythical, to spells, weapons, and all sorts of things. If you want the link you can either PM me or leave it in a comment here :D**


	12. Under a snowy sky

**Hi… um yeah, sorry, really, we're truly sorry. Windy-san works, and I still study, what little free time we have usually never coincide. This miracle happened because I somehow managed to finish all my assignments early, and Windy-san also happened to be free. So we are deeply sorry about this. And we hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**ANNOUNCEMENT**

**Windy-san has made a lot of little drawings and doodles of Reasons why and The many Adventures throughout time. She is gathering them and I will open a group page in facebook and in tumblr to put them. I will have the links on my profile once they are done. I will let you guys know when it happens :D**

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**Chapter 12**

Our stay in Hobbiton lasted only a month and we spent Christmas together. It was… interesting, to say the least, teaching them all about the special holiday and of my home world's traditions. And when I tried to explain who Santa was and why he broke into peoples houses at night… well, again, it was interesting, but that's a story for another time. Now, I had decided it was time for us to leave to visit Aragorn in Gondor. Thranduil decided he would take the High Pass straight to Greenwood instead.

"So, are you coming with us to Gondor?" I asked Thranduil a few days before our departure.

"Oh no, my dear," he said with a dramatic sigh. "My people need me back at my homeland. They are like lost sheep without me."

"Right… of course," but in my mind I thought _'I bet the elves are having a party right now. I can just picture them dancing to 'Celebration' by Kool &amp; The Gang while making the wave_.'

The day of departure, I had to say goodbye to Pippin about fifty times while he kept hugging my leg. I had to promise I would return within a year. *sigh* This little guy is cute but sometimes he annoys me to no end.

The rest of the gang was here as well. Sam could not seem gladder to see us- and by us I mean me- leaving. Rosie, continued to check if I had everything like a concerned mother. She even gave us some of her famous muffins. Merry was trying to keep Pippin away from me. He looked ready to whack Pippin over the head if he grabbed onto my leg one more time. Frodo was smiling quietly at the scene from the background, clearly amused by the whole thing.

Anyways, everything was ready. Legolas came over with the last supplies and strapped them to his horse.

"Everything is ready, Alex. Let us depart."

"Kay then." I said happily.

We were about to mount our horses when Pippin cleared his throat rather loudly. Everyone turned to face Pippin, who was standing as straight and tall as he could.

"I have something to say to you, Legolas."

Everyone now turned to look at Legolas, who simply stared at the hobbit with an unreadable expression.

"Yes, Master Peregrin?"

"Since you have conquered the heart of the fair lady Alexandra," I could see a few people holding in a snort and I had to tighten my jaw to keep from saying anything. "I have something to say to you." He stopped and stared at Legolas dead in the eyes. "If you hurt her in any way, if I ever hear you made her sad or, Valar forbid, make her cry, I will come after you, and not your height, not your strength, not your speed, will be able to save you from my fury and vengeance."

I could see the mixed looks of shock and amusement on everyone's face, and I'm pretty sure Merry was holding in a cackle. But seriously, that did it for me. I had never had anyone ever threaten someone else for my sake. And hearing Pippin say this, little, cute, adorable Pippin, threatening Legolas even though all odds are against him, just made my heart skip a beat. I could not contain myself and I had to jump and hug him.

"You are the cutests, most lovable thing ever! Thanks, Pip!"

"You're welcome, Alex," he said as he hugged me back.

I released him from my hug and was about to pull away when I felt him still clinging to me.

"Uh, Pip, I have to go." I said as I tried to gently push him away.

"Yeah," he said in a dreamy voice, but he still didn't let go.

I stood up, but the hobbit was persistent, and ended up dangling from my neck.

"Pip," I said in a strained voice. "I can't breath. Pippin let go."

"Oh, right!" he said, sounding as if he had just woken up from a dream. He quickly released me and fell on his feet. There was a moment of silent awkwardness.

"Ah, yes," Pippin said as he cleared his throat. "Have I made myself clear, Legolas? Alex is not just anyone. She is special, a real one of a kind girl. You better take good care of her or I will not hesitate to fulfill my promise."

I looked at Legolas, who was staring at Pippin with an unreadable expression. Slowly, a soft smile spread across his face.

"Worry not, Master Peregrin. Alexandra is very important to me," he said as he turned to look at me with a tender smile that suddenly made my palms sweaty. "I promise you, no harm will befall her from my doing, and I will not allow anyone who ever harms her go unpunished. That," he said, looking straight into my eyes, and for a moment I felt my heart stop, "is a promise."

Was he making this promise to me or to Pippin? And why is my heart going insane within me?! I'm having a mild heart attack right now!

Everyone just stood dead silent as if they had just witnessed some miracle of the Universe. I could not even move or look away from him while he continued to look at me. His tender smile shifted into a playful one for a second, before he turned to look ahead.

"So, shall we be moving on?" he said as if nothing had just happened.

'Wait, what?! What just happened? Did he mean those things he said or were they all just to calm Pippin down?! I'm so confused! Was he joking? Was he telling the truth?! You can't just leave me hanging here, Legolas! You have to tell me the truth!'

Throughout the entire trip to Gondor I kept thinking about his words, his smile, the way he looked at me and said that promise as if he meant it, as if it was real. I couldn't even be bothered to torment him with my usual rants, which was something he noticed since he asked me about my silence several times.

At one point of the trip I was sitting by the fire, having yet another mental rant with myself.

'What was that smirk at the end? Does that mean that the whole thing he said was a joke? Was he trying to shut Pippin up? Maybe he was just playing a mean prank. Maybe he was just trying to shut me up! Maybe that was his plan all along! But this is Legolas we're talking about here! He doesn't joke! He doesn't have a funny bone in his entire body! He couldn't tell a joke to save his life! But… but what if he really WAS serious?... Aaarrghh! This is so frustrating!'

I suddenly felt something warm poke me in the cheek.

"Alex?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" I screamed as I bolted to my feet and somehow jumped five feet away from Legolas.

"Goodness, woman!" Legolas exclaimed, obviously taken aback by my savage reaction.

I stood staring at him, panting, and holding a hand to my cheek. 'Did he just poke me? Legolas… poked me…'

I know it's just a very minor thing, to be poked by someone, and maybe being poked on the cheek was a little more personal, but still, it wasn't like this was something big. Aragorn sometimes playfully poked me, but he was like a brother to me. But the fact that Legolas did such a personal thing, something that was done only by people who were close, who knew and trusted each other…. and had he just really touched me willingly? 'Ugh, way to kill the moment, Alex,' I thought, bitterly.

Legolas stared at me, as if expecting me to calm down and sit again. When I didn't, he narrowed his eyes with a worried expression.

"Alex, what is wrong?"

"N-nothing's wrong!" I blurted out.

"Truly? Then why did you jump faster than Shadowfax through the plains of Rohan?"

I blinked a few times. "Shadow who?"

Legolas sighed. "Gandalf's horse."

Hm, that sounds like a good name for a faxing machine add. '_Want to minimize your faxing time? Use Shadowfax! The fastest faxing machine in the world! Papers not included.'_

"Alex! Alexandra!"

"Nothing! I said nothing!" I blurted out. "I mean, why are you so worried about my wellbeing all of a sudden? Jesus, you're suffocating me." I was so confused. Why was I so darned confused?! I couldn't think of anything else to say.

I was not even aware that I was rubbing my hands against my arms, trying to warm myself up. It was mid January, so it was still quite cold. Suddenly I felt warmth around me. I turn to see Legolas putting his cape over my shoulders.

"You should cover up. It has started to snow."

"Eh?" I looked up to see white little snowflakes slowly falling down from above us.

"Snow…" I hadn't even noticed it started snowing.

We both stood silently beside each other. His hand was still on my shoulder, sending shivers through my body that were not from the cold. His hand was so warm, so comfortable. I couldn't bother to move it away. So I just let him stand beside me as we both looked up at the snowy sky. It was beautiful. This wasn't the first time I'd seen snow, but it sort of felt like it was. I stretched my arm to catch a snowflake. It melted as soon as it touched my hand, but it felt somewhat magical. I had to giggle quietly. I looked at the sky once more, before I looked at Legolas. He was still staring at the sky. His face, it was beautiful. He had a serene smile across his lips, his hair gently swayed with the breeze. Even though the moon and stars were covered by clouds, his face seemed to have an ethereal glow of its own. I was entranced. He was so beautiful, so perfect. He fit perfectly in this scene, with the snowy sky, the calm atmosphere, the soft breeze, the purity of nature surrounding him like a sheet that embraced his being as if he was part of it. It was in this moment that I realized why elves loved nature so much, why they were so in touch with it; it was as if they were a purer part of it, almost like a spirit in physical form. He truly belonged here.

He turned to look at me. He still held his serene look and had this calm smile. His hand was still over my shoulder, keeping the cape over me.

"It is beautiful, is it not?"

I could only stare at him, at his beautiful blue eyes. God! Were they always this beautiful? This pure blue? I could have sworn I could see stars in them.

"Yes, you are." I didn't even register when I said that. I only saw Legolas' eyes widen slightly. A small blush graced his cheeks and ears. That's when I realized I had actually said that outloud. My brain panicked, but somehow I managed to cough it out instead of going all crazy.

"Uh, I mean, yes, it's beautiful… the snow I mean, and the trees, and the fire and the wind and all, you know, nature and stuff." I could feel myself blushing as I looked away. From the corner of my eyes I could see Legolas with a small, sheepish smile.

"Yes, it truly is," he said, and returned to look at the sky.

I decided to do the same. It was slightly awkward, but still, it felt comfortable, and I wouldn't have minded it had lasted for a very long time.

The first eight days since we set out from the Shire I had spent them over thinking what Legolas had said to Pippin. It had taken away all peace from my mind. But after that night under the snowy sky with Legolas, things seemed to change a little. I felt lighter, at peace and comfortable with him. Sure, we still had our little fights and endless banters now and then, but we also tolerated each other better. It often snowed, but Legolas never minded the cold at all. It sometimes annoyed me to see him fresh as a rose while I was reduced to a shivering pile of sniffles and sneezes. But he always gave me his cape, and little by little I became aware that it smelled like him. It's hard to describe his smell. Of course I can say that I recognized the smell of fresh earth and a variety of plants and trees. That was not strange since he was always stuck up on a tree or taking a hike. But he also had another smell, something more personal, more him. I can't really describe it, it was just him, his smell, something I could recognize anywhere if I ever came upon it. I became familiar with it, and got used to it.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am actually enjoying traveling alone with Legolas. Though if I was asked with a knife to my throat, I would still deny it… Still, this is the first time we have been able to truly enjoy each other's presence without it turning into a dogfight. So, I guess, in a way, I'm kind of glad that he forced me to accept him accompanying me on this journey. Plus, I would probably be dead in some dark part of the forest by now had he not, since my lack of sense of direction has to be a record… I hate it when he's right.

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**We did it! We finished the chapter! And this turned out far better than we hoped for, since it literally developed itself. We never planned any of this, so it must be fate XD Anyways, we hope you guys enjoy it and hope you take this as a peace offering for not updating for so freaking long. It's a bit short in comparison with other chapters, but like I said, the idea came by itself and we had to write it.**

**Comments and reviews are always a pleasure to read! We accept ideas and constructive criticism.**

**Once again, in case you didn't read it on top Windy-san has made a lot of little drawings and doodles of Reasons why and The many Adventures throughout time. She is gathering them and I will open a group page in facebook and in tumblr to put them. I will have the links on my profile once they are done. I will let you guys know when it happens :D**


	13. Make way for 'Master elf'

**ANNOUNCEMENTs!**

**Whiile re-reading this fic, we noticed that for some inexplicable reason, chapter four had chapter's story, and so did chapter six, so that chapter repeated itself twice in this story. For anyone who read this for the first time recently and came across this, we are dreadfully sorry and we want to let you know that we fixed it. So if you haven't read it then go ahead! :D**

**Also, we decided to name the chapters, though only on the chapter bar since downloading each chapter, changing it and putting it back would take way too long. When we get the time, Windy-san and I will also get on the task of naming the ones from Reasons why not to join the Fellowship of the Ring... That will take some time...**

**This is a two part chapter. Originally, it was only one, but it became quite long, and to not break the medium length that we usually have in this fic, we decided to break it. Plus it gives you something to look forward too :)**

**Chapter 13 Part 1**

The next fourteen days were better than I had imagine, you know, considering we were sleeping in the dirt, with no baths, going to the bathroom behind a rock or tree, and eating almost the same thing every day. But still, you never really get used to it, or I never get used to it. I'm telling you, it was heaven when we saw Gondor at a distance! Legolas had sent a message to Aragorn to let him know we would be visiting around this time, so when the watchers saw us approaching, word quickly spread of our arrival. The entire city came to greet the members of the Fellowship of the Ring, and by entire city, I mean entire population of women, and by _members of the Fellowship_, I mean Legolas….

No sooner than we had passed the gates, women came swarming us like rats from a sewer. Ugh, all those pompous, lady like, princess type girls in their long dresses and elaborate hairstyles came to fight for the attention of "_master elf" _as they were calling him. "_Oh, master elf, you were so brave!" "Oh, truly, there is none as beautiful as you! Such radiance! Such power!" "Is it true that you took down a Mumakil on your own?" "Such bravery!" _

My horse and I, on the other hand, had been pushed all the way back to the gate before we could actually get through it! It was like I didn't even exist for these people! I mean, I was there too! I also fought orcs, and even saw Legolas when he killed the damned Mumakil! I didn't help kill it… but I was there! Fightin for my life and the life of all these stupid, pompous, damsels in distress, all covered in orc blood and at a second's mistake away from death! Where's my hoard of hot men coming to tell me I'm brave and beautiful for saving them all?! It's not fair I tell you! I should have been born a man!

I was about to open my mouth and tell them a thing or two, when I heard little voices calling me.

"Miss Alex! Miss Alex!"

"You're back! You're back!"

I turned around to see my little army of Gondor children.

"My peeps!" I exclaimed as I got off my horse and ran to greet them. One ran up to hug me, then another, and another, until I was basically tackled to the floor by a bunch of excited children. It's sort of like being hugged and kissed by a bunch of cute, little puppies. Some of the "older" kids, tried to act all cool and awesome, but they ended up still hugging me. I sat down and allowed them to surround me.

"Where did you go this time, Miss Alex?" a kid asked.

"Did you marry a prince?" a little girl asked me.

"Did you kill more orcs?!" another little girl asked me, looking all excited.

"Did you kill a dragon?" a little boy asked.

"Wow there, my little friends. First of all, I went to many different places," I said, putting my dramatic, story telling voice. "I went to a forest full of elves," I said in a mystical tone, gaining some "oohs" and "aahs" from them. "I didn't marry a prince, Liss, but I did meet the last King of the elves, and I'm his new best friend. Oh yeah, you're looking at the King's new best friend!"

"Wow, amazing!" the kids explained.

"I haven't killed more orcs, sadly, because we haven't found any, but I did make new friends in the Shire. You know little masters Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo, right? They're hobbits, as you know, and I met new hobbit children. You should go to the Shire one day and meet them! And Janor, no, I didn't kill any dragons. They are too afraid to come near the awesome me!"

"Is it true that a spider scared you?" a little girl asked.

My head snapped towards her so fast that my neck could have broken. "How the bloody hell do you know that?!"

But before she could answer, I heard Legolas' voice behind me.

"Are you quite done?"

I turned to see him with an amused smile. The women were still there, but he hadn't dismounted yet.

I frowned a little but then put on an indifferent face. "As you can see, I am quite busy greeting my little friends here."

Some of the kids were still sitting on my lap, draping themselves over me or just holding onto whatever part of me they could. I really loved my little friends. They got me, admired me and didn't criticize me for not wearing dresses all the time or for fighting along with the men. Kids rule!

"Well, we must meet our old friends as well. Aragorn and lady Arwen are waiting for us."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine." I turned to the kids. "Don't worry, my peeps. Tomorrow we can meet up at midday at our secret hideout!"

"Secret hideout?" Legolas asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, Legolas, secret hideout. And you're not allowed."

Then the kids started cheering.

"Yai! No grownups allowed!"

Legolas raised an eyebrow once more but said nothing. He waited for me to get on my horse once more and we headed up the city. A hundred floors later, and a billion swooning ladies later, we finally reached the top level. Thankfully, the guards locked the gate to the last level, leaving behind the swarm of pests.

Before the palace doors were Aragorn and Arwen. I jumped off my horse and ran into Aragorns open arms.

"Aragorn! Thank God, a normal person!" I said as he spun me around while he gave this wonderful, lively laugh that made me all warm and fuzzy. He is one of the only people in Middle earth that loves me no matter what and accepts me like a wonderful brother. "Man, I really missed you!"

"I missed you as well," he said as he set me down. "You did not give the elves too much trouble, did you?"

I hissed a bit. "Uh, well… if by trouble you mean accidentally setting few of their heads on fire and completely burning off their hair, and making years worth of archives come tumbling down in a giant mess, then maybe just a little…"

Once again, Aragorn gave a boisterous laugh and patted me on the shoulder. "Same old Alex. You truly never change. That's good. I wouldn't have it any other way. It would pain me to see such a unique girl as you become one of the mass."

I grinned ear to ear. Aragorn is truly the best.

Legolas came up from behind me, and I moved aside to let him greet Aragorn. I turned my eyes to see Arwen. She had this cool, yet murderous expression. Her eyes were like daggers as she looked at me with a tense smile.

"Hi there, Arwen," I attempted to sound and look as friendly as possible.

"Hello, Alex," she replied coldly.

"So… how are things? How does it feel to rule a Country, and become human, and all that stuff?" I asked, awkwardly.

"Things are fine," she said simply.

"Right, haha," I laughed nervously. "Great, real great. I mean, of course things would go great when you have a hunk like Aragorn by your side," I said, nudging her slightly with my shoulder. "You know what I mean, right?"

I saw her face darken, and I swear this woman's glare could put lady Galadriel to shame. I just stared at her thinking '_Oh shit, what do I do?_' when suddenly I hear my name being called.

"Alex! You've arrived!"

I turned to see Faramir smiling and waving at me from the palace doors.

"Faramir! Oh thank God!" I said as I sped towards him, desperate to leave Arwen's side. "I mean, uh," I said, stopping a few feet from him and clearing my throat. "How, are things?" I took a step forward with my arms open for a hug, but stopped when I saw his hand stretched for a shake. "Uh, yes," I said, lowering my arms and extending my hand, but at the same time he opened his arms for a hug. We stared at each other for a few awkward seconds when I heard a voice behind him.

"Oh just hug it out, you two."

Eowyn was walking towards us with a beaming smile.

Faramir and I just smiled at each other and hugged. Of course it was extremely awkward, with him not wanting to get _too _close. I just sort of patted him on the back, like men do when they hug. In the end, we just gave it up and I went straight into Eowyn's arms.

"Eowyn! How are things? How's it going with mister lucky? Do you get to be a soldier now? Ho-holy moly, mother of babies you're pregnant!" I said, taking a step back and pointing at the obvious bulge in her stomach. "When did this happen?!" I exclaimed, looking back at Faramir who blushed a little.

Eowyn laughed as she took my hands. "I am six months into the pregnancy. I became aware of it after you had left. I so much wished to tell you and was hoping you would return before the baby was due."

I stared at her with surprise. "Oh my God! Congratulations! You're naming the kid after me, right?" I then turned to look at Faramir with a teasing smirk. "You got busy, didn't you?"

The poor man seemed to choke on thin air. He gave a few awkward coughs and looked to his wife for help. I turned to look at Eowyn who had just a slight, pink blush.

"Oh you," she said. "Well, you must tell me what you've been up to. You went to see the elves right? How is it there?"

We spent the next hours in the garden as I told Eowyn, Faramir and Aragorn (Arwen left to "check on somethings") who were more than eager to listen to me talk about Greenwood and the Shire, and about how I met Thranduil and all the things I did. Legolas stayed quietly in the background, though he did add a few comments here and there, especially regarding anything that had to do with my blunders and stuff. And of course he just _had _to tell the tale of the spiders! He never lets it go…

Anyways, no sooner than we entered the palace, a horde of women were there to greet the "master elf", again… it was fucking annoying.

For the next few days, I could not find Legolas pacing the halls if it wasn't with a horde of women. One morning I woke up early... cuz I couldn't sleep, yeah, it happens sometimes. Anyways, it just so happens that Legolas takes morning walks everyday, and I know that cuz he did that in Greenwood every day. So I decided to grace him with my presence in this morning. I bet that will make him happy. Not that I want to make him happy or anything, but I'm feeling generous so yeah. As I made a turn to go down his hall, I stopped dead in my tracks. Legolas was in front of his room, a smile on his face. Before him was a woman, probably twenty two or twenty three years old, with long, luscious, black hair that had part of it pulled back in braids, and the rest falling along her long, slim back. He cheeks were rosy and her lips full and pink. From what I could tell, her eyes were probably light blue or grey. All in all, she was the perfect picture of pure beautify… great. I know Legolas is followed by women all the time, but seeing this girl, alone, with him, at these early hours of the morning in front of his room… reaching out to hold his arm… if this was Earth, one would think, with the way she is behaving and being here so early in the morning, that she spent the night with him… aw hell no!

I cleared my throat as loud as I could. The girl gasped and quickly released Legolas' arm and blushed brightly. I made my way towards them with a wide smile.

"Hey Legolas!" I said, basically ignoring the women's presence as if she wasn't there at all.

"Alex, you are up early," Legolas said, looking a bit surprised.

"Ah, yes, I couldn't sleep. Weird, right? So I decided to just take a walk and well, I uh, know you take walks at this hour and thought that since I'm already up, you could join me."

Legolas raised a brow. "Join _you_?"

"Yeah, since I know it must be boring for you to walk alone every day… I felt like I should at least let you join me," I said, feeling myself about to blush.

"Oh, but master Legolas has already promised to accompany me to the gardens this morning."

I gave the girl a dry look. "And who might you be?"

"I am lady Gwendolen, daughter of Ivriniel, and niece to Imrahil, Prince of Dol Amroth," she said with a hint of arrogance in her voice.

"Wow, that's a mouth full," I said, disregarding her title.

"And who might you be?" she asked.

"I am Alexandra, one of the members of the Fellowship of the Ring," I said, trying to match her tone. "The ones who saved your ass from total annihilation from Mordor. You can thank me if you want."

"Oh, yes, Alexandra," she said with an unhumorous smile. "I've heard quite a lot about you. I seem to recall hearing you were quite the wild and unruly one... Is it true that you killed an orc during the Battle of the Hornburg and," she cringed a little, disgust in her tone, "slapped it with its own hand?"

I frowned. "I dare you to go to war while in your bloody period and see how it works out for you."

She looked completely disgusted by my words. "Such an unladylike woman," she said as she looked me up and down. "I had heard that you behaved like a man but, I did not expect you to practically be one if not for the obvious, uh, traits."

Did she just call me a man with a "woman's body"?! I could feel my blood boiling, but before I could reply, she turned to Legolas and grabbed him by the arm once more.

"Shall we be leaving, Master Legolas?"

Legolas, who had been quietly keeping out of this quarrel, probably because it's a woman's fight and it was out of place for him to intrude, just gave me a quick look before looking back and Gwendolen.

"Yes, we should be parting." He then looked at me. "I am sorry, Alex. Perhaps another time."

"Oh, no, it's okay!" I said in the most indifferent tone I could muster at the time. "I'll just continue my walk then." I turned and started to walk away, but stopped and turned to look over my shoulder. "Oh, and you should be careful, _lady _Gwendolen. It is not like a _respectable _lady to be walking at these ungodly hours to meet up with a man. One could think something is _off_. We wouldn't want any rumors to ruin your honor, yes?"

The girl gave me a murderous glare. With a huff, she turned to Legolas and together they left.

Well now, this called for some investigation. I decided to follow them around, not because I was jealous or anything. Hell no! But this girl smelled fishy to me, you know? There was something up with her and I can't have any rogue woman in Aragorn's home. She could be a spy or something. She had to be with her pretty little face and love dovey and and all "innocent" vibe about her. That's not a real person I tell you! No one is so much alike a fairy tale princess. This is a scam, she is a spy!

So I decided it was my task-as Aragorns friend of course- to make sure that this girl didn't ruin anything. I followed them down the hall, trying to stay as far away from Legolas' earshot, which is damn hard! Anyways, the girl was was chatting away, giggling every now and then. Legolas seemed to talk a little and smile as well. He was putting his guard down! This girl could very well have a knife hidden in her sleeves! Stupid Legolas. Anyways, I continued to follow them right into the inner gardens. Trying to stay away, I ended up losing them from my sight. I tried my best to find them, but this place is almost as big as a real freaking forest!

That night we had diner with Aragorn, as usual, but when Legolas came in, I just glared at him before looking back at my food. Aragorn caught that little exchange, but said nothing and continued talking with me. He tried to bring Legolas into the conversation, but I ignored him as if he was not really there. Why was I behaving this way?... I don't fucking know… so stop pestering me about it. It's not like Legolas has been the only thing in my mind 24/7. I think of other people too! Like… uh… Eowyn! Yeah, and how she's pregnant and all. So yeah, I think of her, and people… Legolas is just annoying and I don't see why i should talk to him! End of story.

I got up from the table after eating and left. I wasn't halfway down the hall when I heard Legolas call my name.

"Alex, wait."

I didn't of course, and continued walking as if I hadn't heard him until he caught up with me.

"Oh, so you're alive," I said, nonchalantly as I continued to walk. With the corner of my eyes I saw him raise an eyebrow, but he shrugged it off.

"I wanted to apologize about this morning. Lady Gwendolen had invited me last night to see the statues that have been raised in honor of the Company of the Ring."

I snorted. "It's not like I care why you went with her anyways. You could go out with the whole women population of Gondor for all I care! In fact, you almost did that since all of them follow you around all the time!"

"I am sorry. Had I known you were coming I would have moved the plan for another time."

"Like I said, I _don't care_," I spat.

I saw him frown a little, and I think I even saw a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"There is a statue of you as well."

I stopped dead in my tracks and gasped. "Really?! Oooh! Let me see! Let me see! Uh, I mean," I stopped and cleared my throat. "Uh, awesome, these people should know they owe their lives to me as well. So um, where exactly is this statue of me?"

Legolas smiled. "It is on the East-South side of the garden."

"Right, the East-South side… I know where that is…"

"Do you wish to go see it?" he said, a tiny smile on his lips.

"Um, sure, of course. I mean, since you're going there too then I suppose we can just go together," I said, trying not to look at him too much.

_A few minutes later_

"Wow! Awesome! I look super cool! And hot!"

On the middle were the four hobbits. On one side was Gandalf and on the other was Aragorn. Beside Aragorn were Legolas and Gimli and I was on the other corner right beside Gandalf. I looked awesome! I had my hand resting on the hilt of my sword, readily to draw it at a moment's notice while I my eyes were looking onward with a very serious and focused expression. Seriously, I look kick-ass! Whoever made this statue deserves a prize!

"I look great! This is awesome! Who made this? I want to give him a prize for such an awesome work on me!"

Legolas chuckled lightly. "The man is one of Gondor's most famous sculptors. I can lead you to him tomorrow if you wish."

"Hell yeah! I will have to bring him a gift or something, and-" I cut myself short when I saw a statue hidden under a large bush just a few feet from where we were. "What's that?" I asked as I headed there.

"Oh, that is probably just an old statue," Legolas said, though he followed me.

"Why was it thrown there? Aren't statues here made for important people?"

"Usually yes," he said, cooly, yet I detected a bit of reluctance in his voice.

"It's a woman... A very ugly woman… But I guess that she must be a hero if they made a statue of her. Stupid sexist men throwing away statues of women."

"Perhaps we can talk to Aragorn and have him restore it?"

"I guess. But," I looked at it closely. Something was a bit off. The clothing was exactly the same clothes that I received in Lothlorien, and the hairstyle was also mine. She also had the elven cape and brooch we received, which is something only we were supposed to have.

"Hey, Legolas, just who is this?" I asked him, staring him dead in the eye.

"I do not know who she is. Why are you so interested?"

"Well, for one thing, she has she has the same clothes I traveled with after visiting Lothlorien, plus my hair style. Second, she has the cape and brooch that Galadriel gave me. Aren't we the first and only ones who ever received such things?"

Legolas simply stared at me. His face didn't betray any conflicting emotions, but his silences was proof that he was lost for words.

"Well?" I insisted.

Silence.

"Legolas, is she supposed to be me?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Just answer the bloody question! Is she me?"

Legolas stared at me for a moment before sighing. "Why do you insist on knowing?"

"Because I want to know! She's me, right? And you knew all along!" I said while pointing a finger at him accusingly.

"I did know, but I did not believe you needed to know."

"Why the fucking hell was I made so ugly? Why weren't _you_ made ugly?"

I saw the corner of Legolas' lips twitch, but he didn't bother to keep it, and a smirk appeared on his lips. He gave a small, smug scoff. "As if _I _could be made ugly."

That threw me off and for a moment I stopped my tantrum and just stared at him, stunned. "Wow, you really _are _your father's son."

The smug smile quickly fell from his lips and a frow appeared instead. "Do not compare me to him! I am nothing like my father!" he said, practically pouting like a little kid.

I would have laughed and found more ways to tease him had I not remembered the real problem at hand: that hideous thing hidden beneath the bushes. "Well I would have understood if Gimli was made ugly, but why me? Why am I the only one who was made twice? I don't see any other statues lying around. Also, no one had the decency of at least throwing the damned thing away instead of leaving it around for everyone to see!"

Legolas just stared at me in silence and I could see that he really didn't have the answer to any of those questions. The only one who had the answers was…

"Legolas, take me to the maker of the statues. I need to have a long, strongly worded conversation with him."

Legolas sighed once more. "You will not leave me be until I take you, will you?"

"I sure as hell won't!" I exclaimed.

Let's just say that that night, the man who made this statue heard the worst profanities that had been heard in all of Middle earth that would have landed anyone here in jail had it not been for my status… and Legolas had to literally tackle me and haul me away when I almost killed the man for saying that he thought that the first statue looked more similar to the _real thing_. That bloody bastard, I know where he lives now, and my little peeps in the city are always ready for some... mischief... muahahahaha!

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**In case you didn't read the upper notes, please do, they might be helpful :) Reviews, comments and ideas are welcomed! And even if you think you're just saying the same old thing, or hardly nothing, we still really love it because we know that you still love it as well :D**


	14. My lady Alexandra

**Hello! This is part two of chapter 13. Like we said before, we divided it since the chapter was once one, but it became too long. Anyways, it gives you guys more chapters so here it is! Enjoy!**

**Oh, I only gave it a quite review so there might be errors. Please forgive them since I am far too full of College work to do much more at the moment.**

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**Chapter 13 part 2**

So, I thought that whatever was up with little lady Gwendolen was over, but the next day, right after breakfast, I found her waiting for Legolas by the dining room. Once more the two of them took off. And this not only happened once, or twice, or thrice! This just kept happening and happening! This freaking girl was everywhere! She wouldn't leave him alone! I wouldn't be surprised if she stalked him when he went to the bathroom for all I know… Oh my God, maybe she _does _stalk him when he goes to the bathroom. Maybe she's even seen him take a bath, or worse!

The worst part of this whole thing was that for some reason, something was boiling within me. It wasn't as if I cared who Legolas hangs out with. But seeing this girl, now trustful enough to hold his arm when she laughed or touch his shoulder when she wanted to emphasize something as she spoke made me want to rip he hands off. I just felt this burning sensation in my chest that wouldn't go away. And every time I saw them together, or saw her get so close to him it just got worse. What the fuck is wrong with me?! Am I getting sick or something? This is not normal! I usually hate people in Middle earth with quite ease, but this girl, I just really, **really **hate her! Every time I see her coming I just want a Mumakil to appear out of nowhere and stop her to death! Or a giant eagle to appear and shred her apart with their giant beaks or talons...or a warg eat her for diner.

As time went by… it just hurt… for some reason it hurt to see the girl take Legolas away. I could never tell exactly what was going through his mind when she came around. He always behaves the same, very courteous, very nice. I couldn't tell if he was getting more attached, or paying her more attention. He's just fucking unreadable, and that really pisses me off because I have no freaking clue what he's thinking!

Then came the day when it happened: I finally snapped. It was a snowy day, the temperatures had dropped quite a lot since there was a blizzard going on. So the cold weather wasn't doing anything to improve my mood at all. I get extremely irritated when I'm cold. We were at the dining hall, preparing to have lunch.

Lunch was a meal that was shared with most of the nobles in the palace, so _lovely _lady Gwen was always with us. I had had hope that she wouldn't come since it was so cold, but she came in as she always did, searching for Legolas' face before she even looked at anyone or anything else. Great! Just fucking great! I could feel my insides boil like crazy. I was right next to Legolas, so I hoped that at least she would stay away for a while. Guess what? She didn't. She went straight to Legolas and quickly started a conversation, completely ignoring my existence. I had to clench my teeth as she started to chat merrily. Her voice was like daggers piercing my ears.

We continued to head towards the table and I tried to ignore her existence while viciously eating a piece of bread.

"Oh, it is so dreadfully cold today," Gwendolen said. "Are you not cold, Legolas?"

Hearing her say his name like this, in such a familiar way, made my stomach clench.

"I am afraid that we elves do not feel cold the way mortals do," he said, a slight smile in his lips.

"What a marvelous gift. You do not cease to fascinate me." I heard her pause for a moment. "Is it true that elven made capes have magical properties? I would rather love to see if it can warm me up as I imagine it can."

That made my face snap towards her. As I saw her hand reach for the cape, my mind flashed to that snowy night on the plains with Legolas, his cape over me and his hand on my shoulder. From that night on, he had lent me his cape to keep me warm. I knew its scent by heart, the scent of forests and earth, and Legolas. I could feel the texture of it as it wrapped around me and protected me from the cold, as if it was a hug from Legolas himself.

That was when I snapped. I was sitting at the moment. I stood up abruptly, making a ruckus as the chair fell, crashing across the floor, rumbling loudly.I snatched the cape out of her reach before she could even touch it.

Gwendolen took a quick step back as she startled. "What do you think you are doing?" she demanded.

I wasn't even thinking, I had lost all rational thought. I simply acted out on impulse, so I took the nearest wine cup and splashed it all over her.

She gasped, sharply and extended her arms in shock.

"This is _mine_!" I yelled in her face as I held the cape to my chest, almost clawing it. "You can't have it and if you have a fucking problem with that then I don't give a bloody damn!"

Before anyone could react, I bolted out of the dining room.

_Legolas' pov_

I simply stare in shock at the scene. It had been centuries, if not over a millennium since something had left me stunned in place. I can hear my heart beating over my chest, yet I am not sure if was because of her outrageous behavior, or the fact that it was all because of me… I cannot understand what I feel, but all I know is that I must go after her, immediately.

I hastily turn around and make a dash to the door, but I stop as I hear Gwendolen's voice call me.

"Wait! Where are you going?!" she asks, surprise riddled in her voice and face. I turn to look at her. Her upper body is soaked in wine. Her hair is disheveled, her cheeks red from frustration, and her body shaking slightly from indignation and anger.

"I am going after her," I stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

I saw her give a slight, disbelieving laugh. "You… you are jesting. Surely, after what she did you would still go after her?"

"I know her antiques are not the best, but you must understand, Alexandra has a difficult life. She faces struggles and hardships that no other person in Middle earth confronts."

"You would defend her?!" Gwendolen exclaimed in outrage. "You would prefer that lowly, unruly peasant girl who wants to play soldier man?!"

I felt as my countenance darkened. No one had yet said a word, but they all stared quietly. I looked to Aragorn, thinking that he would warn me with his eyes not to let my feelings rule my words, but I was surprised to see a small, kind smile. He gave me a very small nod of his head, noticeable for only me to see. That was enough for me.

I looked at Gwendolen, making sure to not allow any anger to show on my face, but keeping it hard enough to let her know I was greatly displeased with her words.

"I believe that you have yet much to learn, Lady Gwendolen. I will kindly ask you to never again refer to Alexandra as unruly or peasant, or any other distasteful names. She may not be the image or a perfect lady, but she is a very strong woman. Not just _anyone _has the strength and courage to stand in the face of war fight to the end and not run away. She is part of the Fellowship of the Ring, a true hero of Middle earth. It may not be common for your people to see women in battle, but that does not make her unruly, nor in any way a man. As I said, she is nothing short of a hero of Middle earth, and I will not stand to hear her be called or treated as anything less than that."

Gwendolen just stared at me dumbfounded, her lips slightly parted in shock. I could see the corner of Aragorn's lips twitching, as if he was holding in laughter.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I will take my leave and go after _my_ lady Alexandra."

I saw her eyes widen, and I knew that the blow had struck her as hard as I had desired. With that, I turned around and left.

I headed straight to her room, thinking she would be there, but when I arrived, I found it empty. For a moment I had to stop and think where to look next. There were far too many rooms in the Palace. I first searched the kitchen, then headed to the cellar, thinking I might find her storming the wine and mead. Yet, she was not there. I did not know where she could have run off to. Being her, she could very well have sneaked into anyone's room.

I decided to ask around for her. Someone was bound to have seen her. I went to the guards who pointed me through the palace where they had seen her running and I came to the end of the hall leading to the garden outside. I felt a surge of panic welled up within me. I quickly burst through the doors of the garden, only to find that the blizzard was worse than I believed. I knew Alex was not dressed properly to withstand such harsh conditions, and she had been out here far too long. I was not sure where to look first, but then it dawned on me that she would probably be with the statues. I quickly made my way there, and sure enough, there was a form curled up on the ground. At first, my eyes almost did not distinguish between the rock of the statues and her form, wrapped in the elven capes. But I was able to tell because of her violent trembling.

"Alex!" I shouted over the blizzard, yet either because she did not hear me or because she ignored me, she did not react at all. I ran up to her and quickly grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Alex! You must come inside, immediately!" I said, urgently as I tried to get her to move, but I was shoved away.

"No! Le-let m-m-e go! You-'re n-ot the b-boss of me!" she said, her voice quivering from the cold.

"You are freezing, Alex," I said, trying to sound as soothing and friendly as possible.

"I d-on't c-care! P-piss off!"

I could not understand her rash behavior. She would surely freeze to death, yet she refuses to come inside.

"Alexandra, you are coming with me this instant," I began to pull her by the arm, but she struggled back with strength.

"**I said piss off**!" she all but shouted in my face with such rage that I was shocked and stepped down for a moment. I stared into her eyes, and the anger in them burned hotter than the fires of Mordor. Yet, among that anger, I could see immense hurt, and that struck me.

I sighed heavily. I knew there was no way to win this argument right now, so I stood up, and without warning, I heaved her into my arms and quickly made my way to the Palace. Of course she did not just accept this, and started to scream and kick as much as a person in her state could. Yet I ignored her rage and made my way to her room as fast as I could. I saw a couple of maids on my way, and quickly asked one to bring hot soup to Alex's room and the other to prepare a hot bath at once. The maids dashed to work at once.

Finally, we made it to her room, and she was still screaming and cursing and trying to push herself off of me. I headed to the bed and simply dumped her on it n a most unceremonious manner. his, of course, did not go well at all with her.

"Hey! What the fuck do you take me for?! A fucking potato bag? You fucki-"

She immediately stopped her rant as soon as I climbed onto the bed, reached for the cape and wrapped her tightly in it. Before she could say anything else, I pulled her into my arms, pressing her back to my chest in order to give her as much body heat as possible, and proceeded to take her hands into mine and rub them to warm them up before she could lose her fingers.

"W-what do you think you're doing?!" she exclaimed, trying to sound angered, but I could hear that she was losing the edge of her words. Also, she made no attempts to pull her hands away.

She was still trembling violently, and she continued to mutter curses under her breath, but I could tell that her body slowly relaxed against mine.

A maid rushed in, carrying a bucket of hot coals, and another followed with a bucket of water. It would be a while before the tub was full, so I continued to give Alex as much of my heat as possible.

The maid with the soup arrived and handed me the bowl. I took the spoon with some soup and brought it to her lips.

"I can feed myself, you bastard!" she exclaimed as she moved her face away from the spoon.

"Have it your way then," I said as I presented her the spoon.

Alex reached for the spoon. Her fingers were still shaking, and the tip of them were blue. Needles to say, she could not even hold the spoon.

"Damn it!" she cursed in frustration when she realized that there was no way for her to do this.

Silently, I took the spoon and brought it to her lips once more. Reluctantly, she began to eat. She sighed in relief after swallowing the first spoonful. I continued to feel her for a while until she finished the entire bowl.

By the time she was done eating, her trembling had decreased to a softer shivering. I knew that this was the time.

"Alex… Alex." I sighed when she did not answer. "Alex. Will you keep ignoring me for the rest of the evening?"

"Yes," she muttered.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to talk to you," she said without looking at me.

"And why not?" I asked, knowing that these questions would get her to talk soon enough.

"Because you're a fucking idiot!"

"And what have I done to deserve being called that?"

There was silence.

"Alex? Why have I been an idiot? What have I done?" I insisted.

"You know bloody well what you did!" she exclaimed, but this time, her voice broke, and she sniffled as she wiped away tears.

This reaction from her took me off guard. I could not believe that she was truly crying, so I grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around. She just bowed her head and continued to sniffle, holding back her cries. I was at a lost. So many emotions were mixing within me. I was so confused and did not know what to do.

"Alex, why…"

"Don't ask why I'm crying!" she snapped before I could finish. "I don't know why I'm crying! I'm just crying! I just want to cry. Can't I cry in peace without you pestering me about it?"

I felt my heart clench. I could not take this, seeing Alexandra crying in front of me like this made my heart ache.

"Why did you do it? Why did you react that way towards lady Gwendolen?"

Alex tensed and continued to look down.

"Why, Alexandra?" I insisted, hearing a bit of desperation in my own voice. "I cannot understand you unless you explain it to me."

For a moment she just sat there in silence. Then she snorted wryly.

"How did they react when I left?" she said with a heavy tone. "I bet I looked pathetic to them. What did they say this time? Not that there's much left that they haven't already said about me. Let me guess, '_Crazy old Alexandra pulled yet again one of her disgraceful stuns. She does not belong here. She is unruly, savage and does not know her place. What is wrong with that woman? Was she raised by a pack of wild wolves? How could anyone ever stand her presence? Why is she allowed in the King's Court? How could she-"_

"Enough, Alex," I said in a firm yet gentle tone. "It is not like you to indulge yourself in self pity. It is not like you to care at all what others may think or say about you. That is what makes you special, Alex. You are your own person, despite how many hardships you have faced and how the entire world dictates that you should change. You are strong and firm in who you are… This is why your behavior is something that I cannot understand. What made you react that way?"

I could see that she had an internal battle, and it looked as if she could not understand herself.

"I don't know. I honestly don't know why I acted that way! It just happened!" she said, increasing her tone with each sentence. "I don't know! I just don't know!"

This was enough for me. I brought her into my arms and pressed her against me in an embrace. I felt her stiffen against me, her arms pressing against her sides as if she wanted to keep away from me.

"It is alright, Alexandra. You do not need to think about it anymore. It does not matter if you do not understand, and it does not matter if I do not understand either. Just forget this ever happened. Do not let it take away your happiness or who you are."

Little by little, I felt her relax against me. I heard a very small whine, and suddenly, her arms wrap around me, and she begins to sob with her face buried against my chest. I hold her tightly, trying to comfort her as much as possible, trying to make her feel it was alright, that she did not need to worry anymore. It really did not matter anymore to me why she did it, it did not matter why she ran, why she screamed and cursed so much. All that mattered to me right now was that she felt better, that she returned to her normal self.

A few minutes later, the maid told us that the bath was ready. I look at Alex to tell her to go, when I realize that she has fallen asleep against me. I stare at her for a moment. Many a nights we have slept beside each other, but this time, seeing her asleep in my arms… I could not help but to feel as if it was the first time I saw her asleep. She looked so different, so innocent. You would never believe that this face has the crudest mouth in all of Middle earth.

I had to laugh internally at the thought. I could not bring myself to part with her just yet. The strangeness of the feelings within me were slightly overwhelming. They were so unknown, so intense, and I did not know what to make of them. All I knew was that at the moment, I had to hold her, press her to me. And for a moment, I believed that it was possible to stay that way forever.

I did not realize that I was smiling. I was lost to the world at that moment.

"Master elf?"

The maid's voice snapped me back to reality, and for a moment I was shocked by my own thoughts.

"Yes, I will leave you to it," I said as I carefully placed Alex back on the bed.

I got up and walked towards the door. I stopped to look back once more. The maid was already on the task of awakening Alex. I stood there for a moment, then walked out and closed the door behind me.

I made my way towards my room, only to find Aragorn standing by my door.

"Aragorn," I said, slightly surprised to see him there.

"Legolas," he said in acknowledgement. "Did you find her?"

"I did. She is being taken care of by the maids in her room at this very moment."

He frowned a bit in confusion. "Why? Where was she?"

I sighed. "She was in the gardens, by the statues, freezing herself to death."

Aragorn's eyes widened in surprise. "Was she out there for long?"

"Aye, she was. Her fingers were blue by the time I got to her. But worry not, she is alright now."

Aragorn nodded. "Good, that is good." There was a slight pause. He looked at me with knowing look. "You have quite a lot to explain, Master elf."

I could tell that he was serious, yet there was also a lighthearted twinkle in his eyes.

"If you wish to ask what went on between Alex and I, I must ask you not to ask. As for what happened with Lady Gwendolen," I stopped for a moment to contemplate what I should say. "I cannot say, and neither can she. Alex is… not in her best conditions, and I do not wish to make her ponder on this any longer."

Aragorn gave me an understanding look and nodded. I do not know to what extent did he understand, but he knows and loves Alex with a pure heart, and would not put her in any bad situation.

"Very well, my friend."

Aragorn gave me a smile before walking away.

I stood there, watching him leave. Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind.

"Oh Valar, Pippin will surely murder me if he ever hears of this."

* * *

**So we don't usually do serious chapters since this is a parody, but it was necessary. We hope you're still enjoying this! Comment and review to your heart's content. **


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